


Thunder

by Nurmengardx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Wings, Angels, Castiel's Handprint (Supernatural), Castiel's True Form (Supernatural), Demons, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Not Canon Compliant, Trapped, Unstable Castiel, castiel's vessel (not jimmy)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24260596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nurmengardx/pseuds/Nurmengardx
Summary: Castiel goes missing, and Dean has to face angels and demons to track him down. But when Cas reacts badly to the rescue and abandons his vessel, Dean has to find away to bring him home.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter One

Dean’s leg bounced under the table. He held his phone tightly in one hand, and drummed the table with the other.

Sam was sitting across from him, quietly reading a book and sipping on a smoothie. Slowly, his eyes slid up from the book, and over at Dean. He sighed, and lowered the book. ‘What?’ he asked.

Dean glanced at him, then looked around the room, avoiding the topic until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. ‘Have you heard from Cas?’ he blurted out.

Sam raised an eyebrow. ‘No. Why?’

Dean gave what was clearly supposed to be an unconcerned shrug. ‘Haven’t heard from him in a while, that’s all.’

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘You know what he’s like. We won’t hear from him for weeks if he’s on a hunt, you know that.’

Dean nodded, unconvinced. He and Cas hadn’t gone a single day without talking recently, even if it was only to send a ‘good morning’ or a ‘goodnight’, but now it had been a whole week since Cas had texted him. Worse, he hadn’t responded to any of Dean’s prayers. But he didn’t tell Sam that. He didn’t have any answers to the questions Sam was sure to ask

‘He’s probably just deep in it,’ Sam said, picking his book back up.

Dean nodded again, but continued his leg bouncing, biting his fingernails, watching the beads of condensation drip down his bottle of beer.

They sat in silence for a little while longer, until Dean’s anxious fidgeting began to annoy Sam.

‘Have you tried praying to him?’

Dean scoffed. ‘What am I, an idiot?’

Sam held his hands up defensively. ‘Calm down, man, he’s an angel, what could happen to him?’

‘Plenty,’ Dean snapped, getting up.

Of course there had been periods in the past where they hadn’t spoken, but he always knew the reason why. This was different, and there was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was off. Something was _wrong._ He made to grab his beer, but it slipped through his fingers and smashed on the floor.

Sam sighed again. ‘Look, if you’re worried, we can put some feelers out with Garth, and see if anyone knows anything, all right?’

‘Yeah, fine.’

‘And I’m pretty sure there’s some werewolf activity a couple states over. You wanna go check it out while we wait?’

‘Sure.’

A werewolf hunt. Simple. Easy. Distracting.

They were in the Impala by the end of the day, and Dean could feel the resentment radiating from Sam. They both knew full well that any other hunter could handle a werewolf, and Sam had been getting comfortable in the bunker, but Dean needed to move, and stop his mind from jumping to the worst case scenario. What could have happened to Cas? Could he have simply run out of credit and not known how to get more? But then, why wouldn’t he answer Dean’s prayers? Dean shook his head and turned up his music, ignoring Sam’s irritated tutting.

They didn’t hear from Garth that night, and Sam fell asleep almost the moment they entered the motel room.

Dean sat down on the end of his bed, listening to Sam snuffle in his sleep, and pulled out his phone. The blue glare dazzled him momentarily. No new messages. Not since Castiel’s ‘Goodnight’ over a week ago.

_Hey man I’m getting worried now. Just let me know you’re ok._

Dean sent the message and waited, but there was no response. ‘Okay, one more try,’ he muttered, getting up and leaving the room. He sat on the hood of the Impala and stared up at the sky. Besides the one flickering orange light across the street, the night was clear, and Dean breathed deeply. ‘Cas, I hope you can hear me,’ he murmured. ‘I hope you’re not… Just tell me you’re okay. Please just tell me you’re okay.’ Dean waited with bated breath, waited to hear the quiet fluttering of wings, but it didn’t come. Dean scrubbed his face and pocketed his phone. ‘Just stay safe, okay? For me.’ He trudged back into the motel room and fell asleep, fully clothed.

The nightmares came, as they always did, thick and fast. Images from his past. Flashes from hell. Archangels splitting the air with their light, lying in that field after Sammy had jumped. Dean knew it all. He was used to his mind spitting these things at him in his sleep, but then the dreams changed and were filled with images of Castiel, then Dean was awoken by a clap of thunder. He sat up in a cold sweat, thick raindrops lashing against the window, flashes of lightning searing his eyes. ‘Sam,’ he said hoarsely. ‘ _Sam!’_

Sam woke up with a snort, hair sticking out at odd angles, and sat up to stare at Dean blearily. ‘What?’

Dean nodded at the window. ‘That seem a little omen-y to you?’

‘No, why?’

‘It was totally clear out there a couple hours ago.’

‘So? Sometimes the weather is just weather, Dean,’ Sam grumbled.

‘You’re cranky when you get woken up, you know that?’

‘And you need to take a friggin’ chill pill, jeez,’ Sam said, throwing himself back down onto the bed and rolling himself up in the blanket, going back to sleep almost immediately.

Lightning flashed again.

‘That you, Cas?’ Dean whispered. ‘You trying to tell me something?’

The lightning and rain stopped abruptly, and the wind that was rattling the window blew itself out. 

Dean sat stock still, but the light across the street still flickered, and everything appeared to go back to normal. ‘That was weird.’ He checked his phone again. No new messages. Just to be safe, Dean salted the window and door, and warily went back to sleep.

Dean was first up in the morning, brushing his teeth, checking his phone again, then waking Sam up with a pillow to the face. ‘Hurry up, I’m hungry, and we gotta get this done. Full moon’s tonight.’

Sam groaned and dragged himself out of the bed and to the bathroom, getting ready while Dean paced circles around the tiny room.

'I think we're gonna go fed with this one,' Sam said from the bathroom. 'There's a body at the morgue I want to take a look at.'

'Got it.' Dean went outside to pull their suits out of the trunk, but as he did so, a light caught his eye. 'Huh.' He reached inside and plucked out one of Cas’s feathers. He'd begun moving all of their non-essentials into the bunker, but he always kept one close by, like a lucky charm. They always did give off a dim glow, but it was now pulsing with light, almost dazzling Dean. He blinked and squinted at it, but even as he did so, the bright glow faded again.

'Dude, what are you doing?' Sam shouted from their room.

Dean hastily stuffed the feather into his pocket and grabbed their suits. He wanted to tell Sam of his uneasiness, but Sam didn't know he kept a feather. If Sam had even noticed it was there, he never said anything, and if he had said something, Dean would have denied keeping it on purpose.

This was their dance. Him, Cas, and Sam. No one said anything. They all ignored the so-called elephant in the room, that only came to the forefront when someone was dying, or when Dean and Cas stood just a fraction too close. Even now, when all of Dean's instincts screamed at him that something was wrong, and he wanted so badly to ask his brother for help, he couldn't think of the words. So he clamped his mouth shut, but kept his hand on the feather in his pocket.

Dean wasn't paying attention when they arrived at the coroner's office, staring out the window at the clear blue sky until Sam elbowed him. He focused his attention back onto the room, Sam and the coroner staring at him expectantly.

'Your badge, Agent Stark,' Sam prompted.

'What? Oh.' Dean flashed his badge. 'Sorry.'

'Head in the clouds there, agent?' the coroner asked.

'Yeah, something like that.' Dean looked out the window again. 'How about that storm last night? Is that, uh, normal?'

The coroner shrugged. 'Pretty much.'

'Hm.'

'Anyway, if you wouldn't mind showing us the body?' Sam said politely.

'Of course.'

The coroner left them with the body, but Dean wasn't particularly interested, and let Sam do the examination.

'Okay, that's weird,' Sam said.

'What is?' Dean said, leaning forward.

'We got all the classic werewolf stuff, heart gone, all that, but he's been drained too. All his blood's gone.'

'That is weird.'

Sam turned the body over, and found a blue handprint on his shoulder. 'Bingo.'

'So what, some kind of werewolf-djinn combo? Gross.'

'I dunno, Dean, I thought the ones that leave these handprints were the fear ones. You know, the ones that turn you into goo?'

'Just add it to the list of freaks, I guess.'

Sam frowned at him, but shook it off. 'Luckily there's an old factory just outside town, so we won't have to do too much digging to find it.'

'Yeah. Lucky.' Dean brushed the feather in his pocket again. It was warm.

They waited until nightfall before rolling up to the abandoned factory.

_Hunting a djinn and/or werewolf. Should be fun_

Dean sent the text and sighed. He was beginning to feel like a rejected ex, so he tucked his phone away in the glove box, ready for when he returned.

He and Sam crept inside, guns raised, senses heightened. They could hear arguing coming from somewhere above them, and slowly followed the sound.

'I swear, Kyle, I will kill you if you don't lock yourself in right now. If this goes wrong, I'm not bailing you out again,' a voice yelled.

'But I don't wanna,' someone else complained. 'The shackles hurt my arms.'

'Oh, cry me a river. You could have turned that guy!'

'I don't see you complaining about the nice dinner you got out of it,' the voice belonging to Kyle grumbled.

'You call that nice? A nice dinner would have been at that restaurant downtown.'

'Come on, Hayley, I made sure he was nice and scared for you.'

'Ugh, you never take me anywhere.'

Dean glanced at Sam, who looked just as disgusted as Dean felt. Dean jerked his head, indicating for Sam to circle around, so they could box in the djinn. The werewolf wouldn't be a problem unless he turned, but the djinn was still dangerous.

'You're such an ass,' Hayley shouted.

'Yeah, Kyle,' Dean said loudly, stepping out into the illuminated room. 'You are an ass.'

Both of them turned to look at him.

'Silver bullets,' he said, pointing his gun at Kyle, a weedy man with a scraggly beard.

Kyle didn't move, but Dean saw Hayley ready her stance. ‘Shackin’ up with a werewolf, huh?’ he said to her. ‘Little too hairy for me.’

‘Shut up,’ Hayley snapped. Her eyes turned blue, and her tattoos flowed down her arm towards her twitching fingers. ‘You kill him, I kill you.’

‘Well, to be honest, he doesn’t seem like that much of a loss.’

Hayley prepared to pounce, but before she could move more than an inch, there was a wet, scraping sound, and Hayley went limp.

‘Silver blade dipped in lamb’s blood,’ Sam said, removing the blade, and letting her drop to the floor.

Kyle just stared at them dumbly.

‘What, no last words?’ said Dean.

‘Please, let me go, I won’t hurt anyone-’

‘Can’t do that,’ said Sam. ‘You fed. Sorry, man.’

‘But-’

Dean pulled the trigger and shot him dead, looking curiously down at the body. ‘That was lamer than I thought it would be,’ he said, nudging Kyle with a toe to make sure he was dead.

Sam just shrugged. ‘Let’s just light ‘em up and go already.’

‘I thought the point of this was to distract me,’ Dean said, lighting a match and flicking it at Hayley’s body.

‘Yeah, then you woke me up in the middle of the night ‘cause you were scared of a thunderstorm,’ Sam complained, setting fire to Kyle’s body. ‘Now I just want to get back to the bunker and sleep in my bed, away from you.’

‘I wasn’t scared.’

‘Whatever you say. Let’s get out of here.’

Sam led the way, and by the time they were back at the car, the fire was really beginning to take hold.

Dean threw himself into his seat, and grabbed his phone from the glove box. No messages. Sam caught his eye, but he just tutted and turned his key in the ignition.

Dean didn’t sleep at all at the motel that night, gripping Cas’s feather tightly as he paced. Round and around the table, with his phone set in the middle, so Dean would see it the moment it lit up. Only it never did.

Sam could tell that Dean hadn’t slept, and insisted on driving them back to the bunker that day, and watched Dean snatch a beer from the fridge, almost dropping that one too.

‘Nothing from Garth yet,’ Sam said carefully.

Dean took a long swig of beer, but choked on it.

Sam snorted.

‘It’s not funny, Sam!’ Dean spluttered.

‘Look, I know you’re worried, but you need to calm down, you’re gonna hurt yourself.’

Dean couldn’t help it, everything was bubbling up inside him the longer he went without speaking to Cas. ‘Something’s not right, Sam,’ he said, the words barely making it past his tongue. ‘Cas is in trouble, I can feel it.’

‘I believe you,’ said Sam, ‘but do you have any idea what he was doing?’

Dean sighed and leant against the table. ‘He was hunting.’ Somehow he’d never got around to asking Cas what he was up to. They always had so much else to talk about. The weather. Some new food Cas had found. A bee Cas was watching.

‘Yeah, but what?’ Sam asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. Why had he never thought to ask? Because he assumed Cas would be all right.

Just then, Sam’s phone started buzzing. ‘It’s Garth,’ Sam said, before snatching it up. ‘Hey, did you find anything?’ Sam grabbed a pen and a notepad off the pile on the table, and scribbled down everything Garth was telling him. ‘Got it. Thanks, Garth.’

‘Well?’ Dean said impatiently.

‘Hunting a vamp nest just outside Cincinnati. Garth got an address. Looks like a motel not far from the nest.’

Dean nodded. It made a little more sense. Cas was always a little more careful around vampires. Something about the teeth always made Cas think of leviathans, so he was careful. But even still, it had been way too long.

‘Why would he get a motel? Angels don’t sleep.’

‘He thinks that’s how you hunt things,’ Dean said. ‘You get a motel room, do the pinning all your evidence on the wall thing. He likes to be thorough.’

‘Okay,’ Sam said slowly.

‘He’s a weird dude. Let’s go.’

‘I’m driving.’

Dean huffed impatiently, knowing that Sam would obey more traffic laws than Dean would like.

‘I know you can get us there faster,’ Sam said quickly, anticipating the argument, ‘but what if we need to fight? You need to rest, you haven’t slept.’

‘Fine, just don’t be a baby about the speed limit.’

Dean lay down in the backseat, jacket draped over him, and holding Cas’s feather, just out of Sam’s sight. _I’m coming for you,_ he thought. _Hold on, Cas, I’m coming._

Knowing that they were speeding onwards comforted Dean, and he slept all the way to Illinois, before switching with Sam and driving the rest of the way.

His heart leapt when they pulled up to the motel and Cas’s ugly car was sitting in the parking lot. Dean pulled up next to it and climbed out of the Impala, patting Cas’s car as he went.

‘Do we know which alias he’s using?’ Dean asked.

‘The Clarence one, I think,’ said Sam.

‘Ugh, I wish he’d pick something else. There are other angel names.’

‘You try telling him that.’

Dean walked up to the bored-looking man at the desk. ‘Seen this guy?’ he asked, pulling out a picture of Cas and showing it to him.

‘Not for a while,’ said the man. ‘He never checked out though, and he’s got like another week on the room, so…’

‘Which room?’

‘Who’s asking?’

‘Friends of his,’ Dean said forcefully.

The man looked as though he might deny Dean the information, but only for a moment before the look on Dean’s face convinced him otherwise. ‘Room twenty-six, just down the hall.’

‘Thanks.’ Dean tucked the photo back into his wallet and walked off towards Cas’s room.

‘So… you just have that?’ Sam said, nodding at Dean’s wallet.

‘Yeah, it’s his mug shot from that time he got arrested chasing a succubus, you wanna see?’

‘Uh, no thanks, I’m good.’

Dean shrugged. ‘Your loss.’ He stopped outside room twenty-six. It was just an ordinary door, but he was suddenly very afraid of what he would find behind it. He knocked first, just in case, and swallowed nervously when there was no answer. He shook out his hands, then finally pushed the door open.

It was exactly as he would expect to see a room occupied by Cas. The bed was untouched, the papers on the walls arranged immaculately, and a book on the table, open at a page about vampires, just to touch up on the lore. But none of that was what caught his attention. What turned froze Dean to the spot were the half-finished sigils all over the windows, the can of spray paint that had a bloody handprint on it, and the overwhelming smell of sulphur.

‘Demons,’ Dean muttered. ‘Demons must have him.’

Sam frowned. ‘But how would demons get the drop on Cas like this?’

‘I don’t know,’ Dean said, clenching his fists. ‘Let’s go find out.’

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Welcome to Feel the Thunder! Any guesses as to which song I had stuck in my head while writing this lol.
> 
> I'm usually quite partial to an AU, but we'll see how this one goes. In universe but not set in any particular time, I just threw in some characters I like, so it's not going to make all that much sense in the context of the show.
> 
> Anyway, hope you all like it and I'll be back soon.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter for updates :)


	2. Chapter Two

Dean turned on his heel, to march from the room, but Sam grabbed him first.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m gonna go grab a demon and throw holy water on it, til it tells me where Cas is, duh.’

Sam shook his head. ‘Hold on, don’t you think we should check out the vamp nest first?’

Dean stared at him. ‘No.’

‘What if they have him there?’

Dean scoffed at him. ‘What, you think _vampires_ could sneak up on Cas like this? That’s even less likely than demons.’

‘Let’s just - let’s just check, okay?’ Sam said. ‘Before you go stirring up Hell, we should at least go and make sure he destroyed the nest anyway.’

Dean glared at Sam, ready to leave him behind, but Cas’s careful tracking laid out on the wall convinced him otherwise. ‘All right, fine. Wouldn’t want all this work to go to waste anyway.’ 

Sam slapped his shoulder, then examined Cas’s papers until he pinpointed their location. ‘Now we can go,’ he said, leaving the room.

Dean grunted, and stepped towards the door, but something silvery caught his eye. He bent down and found Cas’s angel blade lying on the floor, only the tip of it showing from under the bed, where it had rolled. He picked it up and tucked it into his jacket, then followed Sam out to the car.

‘It’s not far, so we’ll just drive over and check it out,’ Sam told him, getting into the car. He let Dean drive, so he would have something to do with his hands until they arrived. 

‘This it?’ Dean asked, frowning at the ancient house Cas’s maps had led them to.

‘Looks like,’ said Sam.

The house itself looked decrepit enough to house vampires, but it was far too close to a suburban area than they would normally go for.

Sam grabbed a few phials of dead man’s blood from the trunk, passed some to Dean, and carefully approached the front door. 

It was hanging from its hinges, gently tapping against the doorframe in the breeze. 

Sam pushed it open with his foot, gun raised, and stepped into the building. The first thing he came across was the body of a blonde woman, lying in the door to the living room. She was dressed much like you’d expect someone on the local Homeowner’s Association to be dressed. Sam bent down to examine her, rolling her onto her back. Her eyes had been burned out and her fangs exposed. ‘Cas must have been here,’ he muttered. 

‘You don’t say,’ said Dean, staring into her empty eye sockets and shivering. It was easy to forget that his sweet, caring Cas could also be the terrifying, otherworldly, angel of the Lord Castiel. Dean snorted to himself. Cas wasn’t _his_ anything, he reminded himself, and started to move through the house, checking all the rooms for any vampire that had escaped Castiel’s wrath.

‘Looks like he got ‘em all,’ Sam said, when they met up at the front door.

‘’Course he did,’ Dean said gruffly. ‘You done wasting time?’

‘Dean-’

‘I’m gonna go grab a demon now, you wanna come, or do you need to go check the bathroom first, see if Cas is in there?’ Dean raised his eyebrows. ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought,’ he said when Sam didn’t respond. ‘Get in the car.’

Sam pulled out his phone once he was strapped in. ‘Well, it looks like there are some omens up near Fort Wayne, so we could see what that’s about-’

‘Nope, don’t need to,’ Dean said, steering the car around sharply.

‘Don’t tell me you’re gonna crossroads it.’

Dean didn’t say anything.

‘Come on, man, crossroads demons are gross!’

‘Yeah, well, we could have started to Fort Wayne already, but you insisted on covering your ass, so crossroads it is.’ Dean yanked the gearstick, and the car protested, but he didn’t slow down, the warmth from Cas’s feather in his pocket, and his burning desire to get Cas back propelling him onward.

The nearest crossroads was five minutes away, and Dean got to work the moment they arrived. 

‘Crowley might not even send one, you know,’ Sam said.

Dean just ignored him and pulled a spray can out of the trunk.

‘Really, you think it’s gonna fall for a devil’s trap?’

‘Big ass devil’s trap,’ Dean responded, spraying a circle all the way around the intersection.

‘Dean-’

‘Are you gonna bitch all day, or are you going to help me?’

Sam tutted, but grabbed another can and helped paint the trap.

‘All right, show time,’ Dean said once they were finished. He turned around and a demon appeared, frowning at him. ‘Ooh, he sent one of the ugly ones.’

Her eyes flashed red angrily. ‘What do you want, Winchester?’ she growled, folding her arms.

Dean pulled out Cas’s blade and pressed the tip to her throat. ‘How about you drop the attitude for a start.’

She dropped her arms.

‘Now, tell me where Castiel is.’

‘Who?’

Dean pressed the blade harder. ‘Don’t play games with me. The angel, where is he?’

‘Listen, asswipe, I don’t know who the hell you’re talking about, but-’

Dean stabbed her with the blade and watched the life in her flash and die.

‘Dude, what the hell?’ Sam shouted.

‘She didn’t know anything. We’ll try the next one.’

Sam muttered under his breath but followed Dean back to his car.

They left a trail of bodies a devil’s traps all along the road as Dean summoned and killed demon after demon, getting angrier and angrier. 

‘I know one of you black-eyed bitches knows something,’ Dean said through gritted teeth, ‘and don’t think I won’t come down there and tear the whole place apart unless somebody starts talking.’

‘You can stick that thing anywhere you want, handsome, it’s not gonna change the fact that I don’t know where your stupid angel boyfriend is-’

Dean stabbed her as well, giving an extra twist of the blade for the boyfriend comment.

‘Dean, you gotta stop,’ Sam said, grabbing Dean by the shoulders. ‘Look, you’re covered in blood, let’s just get you a shower, and we can try again later.’

‘Is me being clean gonna get him out of the pit any faster?’

Sam sighed. ‘No, I guess not.’

‘Well then…’ Dean turned around and found himself face to face with Crowley.

‘Hello, boys,’ he said, then looked down at the body of the demon at his feet. ‘Now, what are you doing to my poor demons?’

‘Your poor demons?’ Dean said.

‘Here they are minding their own business, making deals, then getting skewered by a Winchester for no good reason. Care to explain yourselves?’

Dean turned the blade on Crowley, who just looked offended. ‘Cut the crap, Crowley, what have you done with Cas?’

Crowley put a finger to the point of the blade and pushed it away. ‘I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Please, his room stinks of sulphur, now are you gonna give him back, or am I gonna have to start carving bits off?’

‘I assure you that I have no desire to see or be anywhere near your little friend while he still has that stick up his arse, although…’ He looked Dean up and down. ‘That might have been replaced by something else by now.’

Dean lunged at him, but Sam caught him by the shoulder.

‘Calm down, man,’ Sam said.

‘I’m sure you got uses for angels,’ Dean growled, clutching the blade tightly.

‘I definitely do, but do you think I’m stupid enough to take the one angel that would certainly bring you two gorrillas down on me? I don’t think so.’

‘He’s got a point,’ Sam muttered.

Dean yanked himself away from Sam, but lowered the blade. ‘Where is he then?’

‘How should I know? I don’t keep tabs on him.’

Sam raised an eyebrow.

‘Okay, maybe I do, but I lost track of him a while ago. I take it he was nearby recently, though?’

Dean nodded.

Crowley licked a finger and held it in the air, then licked his finger again. ‘I taste angel,’ he said.

‘Duh.’

‘No, not just Castiel. There were others around here too. Air tastes burnt.’

‘And we’re just supposed to believe you?’

Crowley rolled his eyes. ‘There’ll be some news about the omens in the area. Come on, Moose, hop to it.’

Sam tutted, but pulled out his phone. ‘Uh, yeah, shattered windows, lots of people talking about God and angels, then disappearing. Looking for vessels, I guess.’

‘Angels, morons.’ 

Dean glared at him, but finally put the blade away. ‘Then why does Cas’s room smell of sulphur?’

Crowley shrugged. ‘If it was one of those horrible motels you people like to stay in, then I can imagine it just smells like that. Not every sulphur smell is demons, you know. Your Castiel could have just been eating eggs for lunch. Now, let me out of this trap before I peel your skin off.’

Dean grumbled, but walked to the edge of the trap and scraped away some of the paint. ‘Happy?’ But Crowley was already gone.

Dean put his hand over his face and sighed. ‘Angels.’

‘Angels,’ Sam agreed. ‘Come on, man, you’re exhausted. Let’s just take Cas’s room for the night, and then we can see about tracking down some angels tomorrow.’

‘Sam-’

‘Look, obviously they took Cas for a reason, so they’re not just gonna kill him right away.’

‘They might. You’ve seen angels - any angel - they all want him dead.’

‘Not this one, otherwise they would have just killed him right in the room. Dean, you’re not doing him any favours by wearing yourself out.’

‘I’ve been more tired than this,’ Dean protested, but the blood on his hands was beginning to dry out, and his shirt clung to his sweat. 

‘I’m trying to be nice,’ Sam said, ‘but you stink. Please take a shower.’

‘Fine, but I swear-’

‘Yeah, yeah, you’ll kill me if he dies, don’t worry, I got it.’

Sam drove them back to the motel, and parked them next to Cas’s car, pushing Dean inside the room. He picked up the can of spray paint and finished off the sigils that Cas had started while Dean showered.

Once Dean was finished scrubbing himself clean, he couldn’t ignore the drooping of his eyelids, and the heaviness in his limbs. ‘Four hours,’ he mumbled to Sam. ‘Wake me up in four hours.’

‘Whatever you say,’ Sam muttered, settling himself at the table with Cas’s vampire book.

Dean curled up under the covers, and held Cas’s feather close to his chest, where Sam wouldn’t see it. _Why did the angels take you?_ He thought. _Is that why you can’t answer me? Can you even hear me?_ He sighed quietly. _I’ll find you. Stay strong. Don’t let them hurt you._ He curled himself up even tighter around the feather, and fell asleep to the quiet page turning.

He jerked harshly when Sam woke him, and Sam’s eyes briefly glanced down at the feather Dean was holding, but he pretended not to see it. 

‘Come on,’ Sam said, ‘we gotta figure out where to get an angel.’

Dean rubbed his eyes blearily and tucked the feather away. ‘Where do we start?’ he asked, stumbling to the bathroom to brush his teeth. ‘Can’t we just call one?’

‘Which one do you suggest?’ Sam said. ‘Which do you think won’t either murder us or try and drag us up to heaven, or worse?’

Dean sighed. ‘I don’t know.’ 

‘You heard Cas talk about any angels he liked? Maybe some of ‘em are still alive,’ said Sam.

‘There was Nathaniel,’ Dean said, ‘but I think he’s dead. Ezekiel...also dead. Gabriel, kind of. Definitely dead.’

‘All right, I get your point. How about Naomi?’

‘Absolutely not.’

‘She’s in charge of finding stuff out, isn’t she? She might know something.’

‘Yeah, or she’s the one that took Cas, and we’re falling right into her trap by calling her.’

‘We have to start somewhere, Dean, you got any better ideas?’

Dean bit his lip. ‘All right, all right. But you’re calling her.’ Dean scraped away some of the sigils, but made a small cut on his hand, daubing blood on the back of the door for a banishing sigil. He hovered next to it, his hand over it but not touching it, then nodded at Sam, who had finished making a circle of holy oil.

‘All right, uh, I pray to Naomi to appear before me. We need help, and we don’t know who else to speak to, but we will roast you if you try anything.’

There was a fluttering of wings, and Dean’s heart leapt, but it was only Naomi.

Sam immediately threw down a match, setting the oil alight, and she gave him a withering look.

‘Is that really necessary?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ Sam and Dean said at once.

Naomi sighed. ‘How can I help you?’ she asked.

‘Do you have Cas?’ Dean said, not quite able to hide the desperation in his voice.

Naomi narrowed her eyes. ‘No.’

‘Give me one good reason I should believe you,’ Dean said, raising Cas’s blade.

Naomi snorted. ‘Or what?’

‘Or we’ll burn you to a crisp,’ Sam said, holding up the jug of holy oil.

‘Do you think I care about my own life?’ Naomi countered. 

‘No, but before you die, you’re gonna tell us why you took Cas, and you’re gonna give him back,’ Sam said levelly.

‘We don’t have Castiel,’ Naomi insisted. ‘He is of no use to us, not after you broke him.’

‘Spare me,’ Dean groaned. ‘I’m not gonna get into a philosophy debate with you, just tell us where he is.’

‘How many times, you insolent ape,’ Naomi spat, taking a step forwards, right to the edge of the circle. ‘We do not have Castiel. I don’t know where he is.’

Sam took a step backwards, thinking hard. ‘But something’s got you spooked, right?’ he said.

Dean glanced at him, his arm started to tingle from holding it up for so long.

‘That’s why there’s been so much angel activity around here, right?’

Naomi looked away.

‘You know, for a celestial being, you’re terrible at keeping secrets.’

Naomi straightened her jacket. ‘Yes. We felt something.’

‘You… felt something?’

‘Something very powerful,’ she said. ‘We don’t know what it was, but we had several angels take vessels in order to find out what happened. I assure you, we had no interest in Castiel. Whatever this is is far more dangerous than one rogue angel.’

‘What do you think?’ Sam asked Dean, not taking his eyes off Naomi.

Dean thought about it. ‘So, you have no idea where Cas is? You haven’t heard from him at all?’

Naomi looked away again.

‘What?’ Dean said, catching the movement.

‘We received a distress signal from him a little over a week ago, around the same time we were alerted to this… emergence.’

 _‘What?’_ Dean shouted. 

‘We ignored it. We didn’t think it was relevant.’ 

‘You _ignored_ him?’ Dean’s hand trembled. What could possibly be so powerful that Cas had to call the angels for backup?

‘It looks like it might be relevant now,’ Sam said, anger clear in his voice. ‘Did he say anything to you at all? What it was? Where it came from?’

‘No,’ said Naomi. ‘But we believe it came from somewhere in Kansas.’

Sam nodded. ‘All right, and you haven’t heard anything from him since?’

‘No.’

Sam looked back at Dean, then threw some water over the fire, letting Naomi out of the circle. ‘Let us know if you find anything,’ he said to her. 

‘I’ll be in touch.’ There was a fluttering and she was gone.

‘Sam!’ Dean cried indignantly. 

‘You heard her, Dean, she doesn’t know what happened to Cas.’

Dean let his hand drop, and grabbed a rag to clean his palm.

‘But at least we have a lead now,’ Sam said. ‘Whatever it is that scared the angels went straight for Cas, by the sounds of it, and we got a location. We’re gonna find him.’

Dean just stormed out to the car, breathing heavily. The last thing Cas would do was let off a distress signal. He would have called Dean first. Unless he didn’t have that much time. Whatever it was, he knew it was coming, and he’d tried to fend it off himself, but failed. ‘What’s got you, Cas?’ he whispered, sitting on the hood of the car. 

Sam then came back out of the motel with Cas’s things stuffed into a bag. ‘So, I figure we go back to the bunker, and get Garth on omens. If Naomi’s lying, and she does have Cas, then maybe she has him somewhere on Earth. Some of the other angels might be upset if they found her torturing him again.’

‘What, you don’t believe her?’ Dean asked.

‘I just think we should cover all our bases. If she’s hurting him, there’ll be signs for it, right? Like when Crowley had Alfie, and everyone around started hearing Enochian.’

Dean nodded and took a calming breath. ‘Yeah, all right. You drive Baby back, I’ll take Cas’s pile of crap,’ he said, giving Cas’s car a disgusted scowl.

Sam snorted, ‘Sure,’ and climbed into the driver’s seat of the Impala. He peeled away, and Dean got himself comfortable as he could in Cas’s car, complaining to himself about the awful upholstery. ‘All right, Cas, where you hidin’ the keys?’ He pulled down the sunvisor, and yanked open the glovebox. He found the keys inside, along with one singular tape, and a pair of Dean’s sunglasses. Dean grabbed the tape, and saw that it was the one he’d made for Cas, and smiled. ‘Sentimental bastard,’ he said softly, carefully putting the tape back. He pulled Cas’s feather out of his pocket. It was starting to lose its shape, so he put it next to the tape. He finally followed Sam out of the parking lot, then passed him on the road, not willing to lose a race to his little brother, even in Castiel’s shitty car.

Once they passed the border back into Kansas, Dean shivered involuntarily, and half expected to see Cas waiting for them at the bunker, but it was just as empty as they had left it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Thanks for the kudos :)


	3. Chapter Three

Dean impatiently waited while Sam did his research, carefully trawling through books and news articles. He occupied himself by cooking and drinking, until an afternoon when the bunker door slammed open.

‘Whoa, guys, chill,’ Charlie said at their raised guns.

‘Charlie, you gotta call us before you show up, you know you can’t just bust in like that,’ Sam said exasperatedly. 

‘I know, but you guys gotta see this.’ She ran down the stairs and pulled out her tablet. 

‘What is it?’ Dean asked, bending over to look at it.

‘So I got in touch with Garth, and he’s been tracking a spike in angel activity, right? All looking for vessels it looks like. At first, I thought it was all centred on Cincinnati, since that was where the most reports were coming from, but look at this.’ She tapped on her tablet, and showed them a report about power outages. ‘Right before the angels started touching down, there were power outages right across the country, through Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Missouri, Illinois, all that.’

‘What? We would have noticed that,’ Sam frowned. 

‘You guys are off the grid here, it probably wouldn’t have touched your generator,’ Charlie said. ‘They blamed it on a power surge at the Wolf Creek power plant, but look, the first outages started here Lawrence.’

Sam inhaled sharply. 

‘And look here. That night there was a huge electrical storm right around Lawrence before all the outages too.’

Dean sat down with a bump. ‘That sounds like...’

‘Like an archangel,’ Sam mumbled. 

‘But there aren’t any, they’re all gone,’ Dean said firmly. 

‘Dean, look at this map. That lightning storm was concentrated right over the spot we opened the cage.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of,’ said Charlie.

‘He can’t have got out,’ Dean insisted. ‘No way, not in a million years. We shoved him in there and he’s not coming back.’

‘He might have.’

Charlie shut down her tablet and closed the case over it. ‘I think the best thing to do is to go check on it, but this seems like something we should do in a hurry, so why don’t you go ahead and call Cas, so he can zap us over there.’

Neither of them met her eyes. 

‘What? Did you guys have a fight again? Fine, I’ll call him.’

‘No, Charlie-’

‘Okay, Castiel, it’s kinda important and we need your help. Possible archangel activity.’ All three of them waited, but nothing happened, and Dean sighed. 

‘Cas is missing,’ Sam told Charlie. ‘We haven’t heard from him in weeks.’

‘So angels, demons, what?’

‘We don’t know. Checked with both and everyone says they don’t have him, but they could always be lying… We just don’t know.’

Charlie nodded thoughtfully. ‘Okay, here’s the plan. We’ll drive down to Lawrence and scope out the area, and on the way, I’ll coordinate with Garth and see what we can dig up about Cas. What was he last working on?’

‘Vamp nest,’ said Sam. ‘Already cleared it though.’

‘Where?’

‘Cincinnati.’

‘Hmm. All right, let’s go.’ She grabbed her bag, and her tablet, and Sam led the way to the car.

Charlie waited until Sam was a good distance away, then rubbed Dean’s arm. ‘We’ll find him,’ she said softly, then followed Sam.

Dean sighed deeply, then jumped into the driver’s seat.

Charlie was silent almost the whole drive, her brow furrowed and furiously tapping on her tablet until they reached the graveyard.

Dean pulled up and sat still for a while. He hated coming here, the bad memories it held too great for him to ignore. He patted his jacket, his gun and Cas’s blade still hidden in it, and warily got out of the car. ‘Stay here,’ he said to Charlie.

She nodded vaguely, still staring intently at the screen.

Sam and Dean carefully approached the cemetery, creeping past the gravestones until they found the spot they’d tossed Lucifer into the cage. It was immediately obvious that something had happened. The ground was scorched, and the trees all around were bare and twisted from lightning strikes.

‘Oh crap,’ Sam muttered. ‘This is bad.’

‘ _ Bad?’  _ Dean exclaimed, his voice rising. ‘I think that’s an understatement.’

‘We should call Crowley.’

‘Ugh, why?’

‘Because if Lucifer really is out, then Crowley will want him stuffed back in almost as much as we do. He took Lucifer’s job, remember?’

‘Are you serious? Lucifer springs, and the first thing you want to do is screw yourself over with a demon?’

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Look, I don’t care what you think, I’m doing it and we’re gonna figure out how this happened. You can stay here and help me, or you can get lost, okay?’

Dean rolled his eyes, but watched Sam pull out his phone. 

‘Crowley, you better get up here,’ Sam growled. ‘Stull Cemetery.’

‘What do you want?’

They both jumped and aimed their guns. 

Crowley stared around. ‘It tastes zesty out here, but sort of familiar.’

‘What do you know?’ Sam demanded. ‘Did Lucifer spring?’

Crowley frowned. ‘He’s in the cage, safe and sound, the little devil. Why?’

Sam just gestured around them, and Crowley shrugged.

‘You know, not everything that happens is something to do with me. Most things, but not everything.’

‘So what the hell is this?’ Dean demanded.

‘I just told you, I don’t know - oh, I remember what that taste is, it’s the zing of an archangel. Odd. What have you two idiots been up to?’

‘Us? We didn’t do anything!’

Crowley strolled around, thinking. ‘I saw Lucifer just this morning, thought I’d take a quick jab at him, just for funsies, but Michael… I haven’t seen Michael in a while.’

‘ _ Michael?’  _ Dean said, aghast.

‘I’ll be right back.’

‘Wha-  _ Crowley!’  _ Dean yelled, but Crowley had already disappeared. ‘Slimy son of a  _ bitch!’ _

_ ‘ _ That was rude.’

Dean jumped back as Crowley reappeared. ‘Come on, man!’

‘Where did you go?’ Sam asked. 

‘Checked the cage.’

‘And?’

‘Michael’s gone.’

Sam and Dean both started shouting at him at once. 

‘Not my problem,’ Crowley said, holding up a hand to silence them both.

‘Oh, you think Michael’s just gonna leave you alone?’ said Dean. ‘How did he get out anyway? How do we know Lucifer can’t follow him?’

‘Lucifer definitely can’t follow him, I’ve made sure of that. I just wasn’t paying attention to Michael, he’s usually so docile. Other than that, not. My. Problem.’

Dean groaned loudly and clenched his fists to stop from punching Crowley. 

‘Still no word from Cas, I take it,’ Crowley smirked.

‘Shut up,’ Dean growled. 

‘I’ll leave you to it then.’

‘No, Crowley-’ But he was gone again.

Dean kicked at the burnt grass around him. ‘Damn it!’ he yelled, then stomped back to the car, where Charlie was waiting for them.

‘What did you find?’ she asked. ‘Nothing too scary, I hope.’

‘Oh, nothing too serious, just Michael escaping the cage.’

Charlie looked frightened and swallowed. ‘Well that’s not so bad. At least it’s not Lucifer, right?’

Sam gave her a warm smile. ‘Yeah, at least it’s not him. Problem is, we have no idea what he busted out for and what he’ll do now. His whole deal was to fight Lucifer.’

‘Do you think he might want to break Lucifer out as well, so they can have their deathmatch?’

‘I guess we’ll have to find out.’

Dean gripped the wheel tightly, grinding his teeth. More than anything he wished he could talk to Cas, but he would just have to make do with the feather he’d moved into the glove box. He revved the car for a moment, then sped away loudly, not listening to the conversation Sam and Charlie were having, until Charlie suddenly sounded excited.

‘Oh look!’ she said, tapping Dean’s shoulder. ‘It worked! I think we found Cas!’

Dean stamped down on the brake, and the car skidded to a halt, hardly daring to believe what he’d just heard. ‘What did you say?’ he mumbled, and Sam gave him a worried glance.

‘It’s this program we were working on - well  _ I  _ was working on, Garth didn’t really do anything - we fed data into it and made it look for patterns. It seemed to work for demon omens and certain monster behaviours, so I reprogrammed it to search for stuff like foliage catching fire, glass shattering, people hearing voices, that sort of stuff-’

‘ _ Charlie!’ _

‘Anyway, here, there are reports from all these communities saying they hear voices across the plains in Wyoming…’

‘Can you pinpoint it any further than all of Wyoming?’ Sam asked.

‘Yeah, hang on… oh yeah, this has gotta be him. Latest reports come from this tiny community; Winchester.’

Dean’s hands twitched. ‘That has to be him.’

‘I can make my own way back to the bunker from here, if you guys want to go,’ Charlie said.

‘You’re not coming?’ Sam asked. 

‘Yeah, that’s like days of driving, and I saw Sam eat a burrito earlier, so I’ll pass. Besides, it could be dangerous and I would rather get back and see if I can figure out what Michael’s up to.’

‘All right, well do you need anything?’

‘Nah, it’s cool, I saw a dealership back there, I’ll just grab a car from there.’

‘Awesome. Thanks for your help.’

‘No problem, just go get our angel back.’

Dean nodded at her, then squealed away. ‘You better get some sleep now,’ he said to Sam. ‘We’re not stopping until we get there, and you’ll have to take a turn.’ He expected Sam to protest, but all he did was sigh, and settle himself against the window of the car for a nap. 

Dean sped across the country, eyes fixed on the road, not stopping or slowing down for anything, right until his vision started to blur and his head began to nod. 

‘Sam,’ he said hoarsely, smacking Sam and pulling over. ‘Go,’ he said, getting out of the driver’s side and climbing into the backseat.

Dean slept fitfully, twitching and groaning in his sleep when the nightmares hit him again, but Sam didn’t wake him until dawn.

‘Almost there,’ Sam mumbled. ‘Be there in the afternoon.’

Dean nodded and swapped places with him. Sam settled in the back, and when he was sure Sam was asleep, Dean pulled Cas’s feather back out of the glovebox and drove with it sitting in his lap, glowing faintly and keeping him focused. He allowed a stop around midday, just to eat and refuel the car. Dean prayed quietly to Cas again, while Sam was inside the gas station loading up on snacks. He no longer expected a response, but he wanted Cas to know that they were close. They would find him soon.

They took off again, Dean let Sam sleep a little longer, and they finally arrived in Winchester late that afternoon. 

‘All right, so where do we start?’ Sam asked as they climbed out of the car. 

It couldn’t even really be called a town. There were a few houses scattered around, what looked like a ranch in the distance, a small store, and a bar. Otherwise, the road was dusty and deserted.

Dean pointed at the bar. ‘Bartender always knows something.’

Sam rolled his shoulders and stretched his limbs as they walked, soothing his cramped muscles from the long drive.

Dean barged into the bar and found it empty but for one older man asleep in the corner, and another playing on his phone behind the bar. He looked up in surprise and hastily shoved his phone away. 

‘Can I help you?’ he asked nervously. 

‘Yeah, we heard about some weird stuff going on around here, you wanna tell me about it?’ Dean said. 

The man paled and shook his head. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it.’

‘Why?’ said Sam.

‘I don’t want to be cursed, man.’

‘Cursed?’

‘If you tell us what’s going on, we can make it go away,’ Dean said.

The bartender looked even more scared when he saw Dean’s stormy expression. ‘Uh…’

‘Dean, you’re scaring the guy,’ Sam said, pulling Dean back from the bar. ‘Listen, we really can make it stop, you just gotta tell us what’s going on.’

The bartender looked at him suspiciously. 

‘You can trust us,’ said Sam. ‘This is what we do.’

He hesitated, then gave them both a drink. ‘Sit down, then,’ he said.

Sam obliged, but Dean remained standing, sipping at his bottle, too anxious to sit still.

The bartender took a deep breath and lowered his voice. ‘Okay, so I didn’t think much of it at first. People were saying they could hear voices at night, but it wasn’t in English or anything. But then I started to hear it too. It was like nothin’ you ever heard before, man. It like echoes in your head. Then stuff started catching fire, and all the bottles in here keep smashin’ on their own. The owner says not to talk about it, ‘cause whenever anybody does, something in here breaks, and he says he can’t afford to keep replacing it.’

Sam nodded. ‘Right, okay, and do you know where it comes from?’

The bartender shook his head. ‘It just comes from out on the plain.’

‘It comes from that shack,’ the older man in the corner slurred, having been woken by the sound of their voices.

Sam and Dean turned to him. 

‘What shack?’ Sam asked. 

‘Few miles out. There’s an old shack. Used to be part of a farm but that’s all there is left of it. I been there.’ The man stopped to hiccup, then raised a finger. ‘I been there, got lost, and I heard it in there  _ howlin’.’ _

Dean bit his lip. 

‘It’s haunted for sure,’ the man said. ‘That’s a evil spirit if I ever did see one.’

Sam nodded. ‘All right, we’ll go out and deal with it. Come on, Dean, let’s get the car.’

‘No car,’ the man said, swaying in his seat. ‘Nothin’ electrical works out there. It’s the spirit.’

‘Looks like we’re walking then,’ Dean said, clapping Sam on the back. ‘Let’s go.’

Sam thanked both the men in the bar and followed Dean back outside. 

‘Maybe we should go tomorrow,’ Sam said uneasily, squinting across the horizon, the sun low in the sky.

Dean just glared at him, then set off over the dirt, grabbing a bag of weapons from the car as they went. His heart raced as they got closer and closer to the shack, and he stopped as soon as they saw it. ‘That can’t be right,’ he said. ‘That’s just a wooden shack, how could they keep Cas in that?’ For a moment, he worried that Cas wouldn’t be there at all.

‘Guess we’ll find out,’ Sam said, urging him forwards.

Dean’s nerves jangled as they approached it. The sun was no more than a sliver now, and a chill was settling in the air. 

There were no windows, and one battered door that wasn’t even locked. The rusted padlock hung open. Dean seized it and threw it on the ground.

Sam raised his gun, just in case, and waited.

Dean took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he might find, then flung the door open. 

Sam gasped and lowered his gun. ‘ _ Cas,’  _ he whispered.

Castiel was sitting, slumped on the dirt floor. Blood crusted his cheek and under his nose, his clothes were tattered and dirty, and his eyes were closed. 

Dean dropped to his knees, breath coming in short bursts. ‘Come on, Cas, wake up,’ he said, holding Cas’s face in his hands. It was cold. He shifted, and saw the shackles around Cas’s wrists. ‘What the hell are these?’ he said.

Sam crouched to examine them. ‘They’ve got some symbols on them. Enochian, I think.’ He looked up and saw more glowing ominously on the ceiling.

‘Help me get ‘em off.’ Dean cupped Cas’s cheek. ‘We’re gonna get you outta here, just hold on.’

Sam tried to pick the locks on the shackles, but they melted his lockpicking tool. ‘Damn. Now what?’

Dean looked around for anything he could use, but there was nothing else in the shack. Then he remembered the blade in his pocket. ‘These are angel, right?’ he said, drawing the blade. ‘Maybe this’ll work.’ Just as he was positioning the shackles, Cas stirred. ‘Hey!’ Dean said, moving Cas’s wrists away. ‘Hang in there, we’ve got you.’

Cas’s eyelids fluttered. ‘No,’ he murmured. ‘No more.’

‘Just stay still, I’m gonna get these off.’

‘Don’t.’ Cas mumbled, barely able to open his eyes.

Dean raised the blade above his head and brought it down on the hinges of one set of shackles. It flashed brightly then fell open, freeing one of Cas’s wrists.

‘No more,’ Cas groaned, weakly pushing at Dean, then flopping back again.

‘Last one,’ Dean said, smashing open the second set of shackles. He hooked his arms under Cas’s and lifted him up, Cas’s weight pressing against his chest. 

Sam grabbed the shackles and stuffed them into the bag, then pulled one of Cas’s arms over his shoulder, taking some of his weight.

Cas’s legs buckled under him, but Dean refused to let go and dragged him out of the shack. As soon as they were out of the shack, Cas’s eyes flew open, glowing coldly. ‘No!’ he shouted, his voice echoing across the plain. He struggled against Sam and Dean, then an invisible wall hit both of them, throwing them away from Cas and spinning them through the air.

Dean landed with a thump and heard something hit the ground. ‘Ugh.’ He choked on the dust that had been raised, and waved a hand in front of his face, wafting it away. ‘You guys okay?’ he spluttered. 

‘I’m all right,’ Sam coughed.

‘Cas?’ But there was no answer. Dean got up and moved towards where Cas had been, but Sam got there first.

‘Come on, Cas, it’s all right,’ Sam said gently, lifting him to his feet again.

Dean squinted at his vacant, staring expression. ‘Cas?’ he said softly, but there was no response, no recognition in his eyes.

‘He must have got really messed up in there,’ Sam said.

Dean shook his head, then looked up at the sky where grey clouds were forming. ‘That’s not Cas, Sam,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘That’s just his vessel,’ said Dean. ‘He’s gone.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to VegasGranny and Introvertbowl for the comments! See you again next time!


	4. Chapter Four

‘His vessel, are you sure?’ Sam asked.

Dean waved a hand in front of the vessel’s face. There was no response. ‘Yeah, look at him, Sam. There’s nothing in there.’

‘So what, is this Jimmy?’

Dean thought about it. ‘No, I don’t think so. Jimmy died when the leviathans exploded him, remember? I think this is the new one God made. It’s empty.’

‘What do we do now?’ Sam said, shifting the vessel’s arm on his shoulder. 

Dean shrugged. ‘We take him back to the bunker, I guess. Can’t leave him here, the demons would kill for an empty vessel.’

‘Well, we can’t carry him back.’

Dean pulled out his phone. ‘Since Cas is gone, I bet the angel interference on all the electrics has stopped… yeah, look at that, it switches on.’ Dean tucked it back into his pocket. ‘Why don’t you bring around the car, I’ll stay here with him.’

‘All right.’ Sam lowered the vessel back down onto the ground, where he sat placidly. ‘See you later, I guess.’

Dean watched Sam walk away, then sat himself down on the ground, beside the vessel, resting a gun in his lap. The vessel just stared straight ahead, completely oblivious to Dean watching him.

His face was still crusted in blood, and Dean took pity on him. He drew out a bottle of water from his bag and used it to wet a cloth, then gently pressed it to the vessel’s face. ‘Much better,’ he muttered once he’d cleared off all the blood. ‘You don’t look hurt,’ Dean mused. ‘I guess Cas healed you. Would you know? Can you feel pain?’ Dean glanced down and frowned, noticing what looked like a nasty burn on the vessel’s wrist, just under the torn cuff of his sleeve. ‘What’s that?’ He gingerly picked up the vessel’s arm to examine it. There were indeed burns where the shackles had been, and angry raised blisters that matched the Enochian sigils. ‘Yikes,’ Dean whistled. ‘That looks like it stings.’ Dean accidentally brushed it with a finger, and the vessel snatched it away, head snapping up to meet Dean’s eyes.

‘Whoa, whoa, it’s okay,’ Dean said at his frightened expression. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

The vessel stared at him, but didn’t move any further.

‘Is it on the other one too? Can I see?’ Dean motioned for the other arm and waited.

The vessel dropped his gaze, and Dean took that to mean yes, so he carefully drew back the sleeve on the other arm. There was a similar burn on that one too. ‘I guess you’re technically human,’ Dean said quietly, with no response from the vessel. ‘Do you have a name?’ No reply again. Dean glanced up at the sky. It was dark now, the clouds had blown away, and the stars were just beginning to light up. ‘Where’d you go, Cas?’ he murmured. He sighed and turned back to the vessel. ‘I’m just gonna rinse these burns, okay? If you’re human, it could get infected, and we don’t want that.’ He wasn’t certain the vessel even knew what he was saying, but talking to him made Dean feel better somehow. He used the rest of the water in the bottle and poured it over the burns, hoping to cool them off.

Sam returned with the car not long after, and pulled up alongside them. 

Dean placed the vessel in the backseat and rummaged around in the trunk for their first aid supplies. ‘He’s hurt,’ Dean said to Sam, as he climbed in beside the vessel. ‘Go.’

Sam drove them away, and Dean gently pulled one of the vessel’s arms towards him.

‘This might hurt,’ he said, ‘but it’ll only be for a second.’ He carefully wrapped one of the wrists in gauze bandages. The vessel winced, but didn’t pull away this time. ‘That better?’

The vessel said nothing. 

‘So what’s the plan?’ Sam asked from the front seat. 

‘Straight back to the bunker,’ Dean said. ‘It’s too dangerous to stop for long. We can get some food in the morning, but we keep going after that.’

Sam groaned quietly. 

‘Don’t give me that,’ Dean snapped. ‘We can’t do the right warding at a motel, and we have to protect Cas’s vessel.’

‘All right,’ Sam said resignedly, pulling over so they could put the vessel in the front with him.

‘You’re gonna sit shotgun now. If you know how to sleep, you should give it a try,’ Dean said to the vessel, walking him around the car and into the passenger seat.

Sam continued on once Dean was settled in the back. 

Dean turned over so that his face was pressed into the backrest, and a few moments later, he heard Sam talking quietly. ‘My name’s Sam, and that’s my brother Dean. Do you know us?’

Dean smiled to himself. He wasn’t the only one that liked talking to the vessel, it seemed.

‘I guess not,’ Sam continued. ‘But hey, Cas is a friend of ours. Family, in fact. We’ll keep you safe until he comes back for you.’

Then the smile fell from Dean’s face. What if Cas didn’t come for his vessel? He’d abandoned it for a reason.  _ What happened to you, Cas?  _ He thought. Dean frowned and curled up tightly. He needed sleep. He’d be useless if someone came for them and he was too tired to put up a fight.  _ We’ll take care of him, don’t worry.  _

When Sam woke Dean to take his turn, the vessel was asleep in the passenger seat. 

‘It’s weird to see him asleep,’ Sam whispered, both of them standing next to the car.

Dean just shrugged. ‘We’ll stop for food in a couple hours.’ He slid into the driver’s seat, and tried to close the door quietly, but the vessel woke up anyway. ‘It’s my turn to drive, that’s all,’ Dean told him at his confused expression. 

He watched the vessel out of the corner of his eye as they drove. He didn’t do much, mostly just staring out of the window. Dean supposed he’d never looked at anything with his own eyes before. It occurred to Dean that he would have experienced everything through Cas. 

He didn’t move much at first, but then he slowly lifted his own arms, turning his hands over and staring down at the palms with a small, confused frown. Then he reached for the glove box, fumbling with the catch a little, and pulled out Cas’s feather. His face softened as he gazed at its soft glow, then held it to his chest.

‘You miss him, don’t you?’ Dean asked. ‘Me too.’

The vessel’s fist tightened around the feather.

‘You can keep that one if you want. I have some more at the bunker… Do you remember the bunker?’ Dean hadn’t expected a response, but he noticed an almost imperceptible nod of the head. ‘Good,’ he smiled, considering his next question. ‘Do you - do you know why Cas left?’ Dean glanced over at him. His face was still mostly blank, but he raised his arms again, turning his wrists over to look at the bandages, then rubbed his legs. ‘Oh, I get it,’ said Dean. ‘He thinks he’s vulnerable in his vessel, right?’

The vessel’s only response was a tightening of his fists on his knees, which Dean again took as a yes.

Dean saw a sign for an upcoming diner. ‘You hungry?’

The vessel twitched, and Dean smiled. 

‘You must be. You’ve never actually eaten, have you?’

Dean parked them outside and was relieved to see it was a less scrupulous looking place. All three of them were looking a little worse for wear, especially the vessel, and Dean would rather avoid the stares and questions. He woke Sam, and helped the vessel find his feet. It was slow going, with a lot of stumbling and grabbing hold of Dean to keep himself up, but they made it inside, and Dean sat them in a booth. He ordered himself and the vessel a burger each, but Sam frowned at the menu.

‘Dude, what do you think this is, Wholefoods? Just get some food so we can go, the longer we sit here, the easier something nasty can catch up with us.’

Sam rolled his eyes, and ordered a plate of plain fries. 

As soon as their food arrived, the vessel picked up his burger and started munching on it contentedly.

‘At least he knows how to eat,’ said Sam. ‘You think it’s like a human instinct thing?’

Dean shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I guess he’s got enough programmed in him to keep him alive.’ He threw some money down on the table as soon as they were all finished and left, picking up the pace when he noticed the vessel kept glancing behind him, and the hair on the back of his neck prickled. Dean peeled out of the parking lot, skidding slightly and kicking up gravel. 

The vessel fell asleep again, as did Sam, leaving Dean with his thoughts and his music playing quietly.

They finally arrived back at the bunker later that day, and Dean helped the vessel down the stairs.

Charlie was still working at the table, and looked up when the door opened. ‘You found him!’ she exclaimed. 

‘Not quite,’ Dean said, sitting him down at the table. ‘This is just his vessel.’

‘Damn, what happened?’

‘Dunno, he just chucked us in the air and bounced,’ Sam said with a yawn.

Charlie leaned forward to stare at the vessel. ‘Does he know who we are?’

‘I don’t think so. He was made special for Cas, I don’t think he has a mind, or a soul or anything,’ Dean told her. ‘Could be wrong though, I’m not a vessel expert.’

Charlie raised an eyebrow. ‘Please, if anyone’s a vessel expert it’s you.’ She looked at the vessel curiously. ‘So is this a constant supervision situation? Can he take care of himself?’

‘He can eat,’ Dean shrugged. ‘We think he can manage the basic human stuff.’

‘Can he…’ Charlie trailed off, discomfort clear on her face. ‘Can he clean himself up? He’s kinda gross. Actually, all three of you are.’

‘I’m making Dean take full responsibility for that,’ said Sam. ‘We haven’t stopped driving since we left you.’

‘Seriously?’

‘I’m too tired for this,’ Dean said hurriedly. ‘I’m not a damn babysitter, and I’m not about to strip the man.’ The words were out of his mouth before he could really think about it. Charlie was right, the vessel was still covered in grime, and showed no signs of being aware of it. Dean knew that meant that one of them would have to help him wash, and his stomach churned. 

‘Come on, Dean, you’ve seen him naked before,’ Sam sniggered. ‘Remember, that time with the bees?’

‘That was different.’

‘How?’

‘It just was,’ Dean insisted, his cheeks beginning to warm.

Sam rolled his eyes. ‘Fine, I’ll do it,’ he said. He started to stand, but Dean jumped up. 

‘Don’t bother, I got it,’ he said gruffly, walking around the table. The idea of having to undress the vessel made Dean’s heart race, and though he avoided it, the thought of Sam doing it instead made him feel worse.

‘Dean, it’s no big deal-’

‘I said I got it,’ Dean snapped, lifting the vessel from his seat.

‘Aw, is he holding one of Cas’s feathers?’ Charlie said. ‘That’s adorable.’

Dean looked down and saw it still clutched in the vessel’s fist. It  _ was  _ kind of cute. ‘Come on,’ he said, leading the vessel away and ignoring the suppressed giggles coming from Sam and Charlie.

He went to the bathroom furthest away from Sam and Charlie and turned the faucet in the bath. ‘Wait here,’ he said to the vessel, and hurried to his room to gather clothes and towels. 

The bath was ready when he came back, and turned off the water. The vessel was still standing there.

Dean hung the towel and clothes, then stopped and stared at the vessel. He took a deep breath, then started to peel off the layers of dirty clothes, Cas’s trench coat first. His hands shook slightly as he did so. Ever since he’d known Cas, there was a part of him that longed to do this, to be this close, to run his hands over Cas’s bare chest, but he had never had the guts to even admit it to himself. He pushed it down and pushed it down, ignoring Cas’s looks, only ever allowing himself a quick glance at Cas’s lips. Now here he was, carefully undressing the vessel. He swallowed past the hard lump in his throat as the last articles of clothing came off, but he didn’t feel anything. Cas’s vessel was naked, but Cas wasn’t there, so it wasn’t the same. Dean sighed deeply.

‘Come on,’ he murmured. ‘Can you step in there… yeah, lift your foot up just like that.’ Dean lowered him in the water and made him hold his arms up, so he wouldn’t get his burns wet. Dean started sponging him down, scrubbing off the dirt and dried blood. He couldn’t see any injuries anywhere else. ‘How come Cas didn’t heal these?’ he asked, holding the vessel’s wrist while he scrubbed down the arms. But it was the same as it always was with Cas. So many questions and no answers. 

Once the vessel was scrubbed clean, Dean helped him out of the bath, and he stood completely still while Dean dried him off. Then Dean helped him dress. Cas’s clothes definitely needed a wash, so Dean put the vessel in some old clothes of his, an old band t-shirt, a pair of jeans that were slightly too big, and a hoodie, so he wouldn’t get cold.

Dean was exhausted by the time they were done, and his bed called to him, so he took the vessel to Cas’s room. 

‘This is where Cas used to stay, so I guess you can use it.’ Dean pushed the vessel inside and sat him on the unused bed. The room was as neat as the motel room Cas used had been. Cas didn’t keep much, but there was a book on the bedside table.

Dean sighed again. His heart ached for Cas, so badly he was struggling to ignore it. 

The vessel looked around the room, sitting on the side of the bed next to the bedside table. He stared at it for a moment, then pulled open the drawer and fiddled with something inside. This was the most he had moved except to eat, so Dean watched him with interest. He fumbled with a string and Dean gasped as he recognised it. It was the amulet Sam had given him. 

‘I threw that out,’ he murmured. ‘Cas kept it?’

The vessel held it out to him, and gently pressed it into his palm. 

‘Wow. Thanks.’ He tucked it into his back pocket. ‘All right, well I’m going to bed. I’ll come check on you in a bit.’ Dean turned to leave, but the vessel grabbed his arm. ‘What?’ He looked down at the vessel, who was now staring at him with wide, frightened eyes. ‘What’s the matter?’

The vessel’s grip on his arm tightened. 

‘Ah,’ said Dean. ‘You’ve never been alone before, have you?’ Dean nodded. ‘Okay, I’ll take you back to hang out with Charlie and Sam.’

The vessel looked almost relieved and stood up by himself, then let Dean take him back out to the main room.

‘Look at that, nice and clean,’ Charlie smiled, as the vessel sat in a chair beside her.

‘Does he not want to sleep?’ Sam frowned, looking up from his phone. 

‘He’s never been by himself, he got scared,’ Dean explained. ‘So he’s just gonna sit here with you guys, okay?’

‘Sure. We got him,’ said Charlie. 

‘Make sure he drinks some water. I gotta go take a nap,’ Dean said, rubbing his face. ‘I’ll come change his bandages later.’

Dean trudged back to his own room and felt the tension release from his shoulders. He sat down and held his amulet in his hands. The last time he’d seen it, he’d lost almost all hope, but Cas knew what it meant to him. Why had he kept it for so long? Was he worried about overstepping? Was he waiting for the right moment? Questions and more questions. But the vessel knew something. He must. Maybe he didn’t know how to express it, but giving it back to Dean must mean he too knew what it was. Maybe he wanted Dean to have hope. Maybe he wanted Dean to know that Cas was out there somewhere. Dean decided that was what the vessel meant, and smiled. He dug into his own bedside table and pulled out another one of Cas’s feathers. This one was slightly smaller than the one he let the vessel keep, but it was big enough for what he intended to do. He took a thick needle and pierced a hole in the quill of the feather, then threaded the leather cord through it, hanging it on his necklace next to the amulet. He pulled it over his head and held it in his hand, smiling at it for a while, the soft glow of the feather lighting up his palm.

‘Thanks for keeping it for me,’ he whispered to Cas. Maybe now that he was free, Cas could hear his prayers. Dean hoped he could. ‘Stay safe out there, all right? Michael sprung the cage, so keep away from him best you can. We don’t know what he wants yet, but we’ll find out. I…’ Dean trailed off, not sure what he wanted to say. Did he want to tell Cas he missed him? Would that help? Did he want to open that door? He shook his head, and tucked the necklace down the front of his shirt. ‘Your vessel likes burgers,’ he whispered, lying down on top of the covers. ‘I guess he got that from you.’ Dean chuckled quietly. ‘Come back soon, okay? I know you’re scared, but we can help you. Just come back.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to pebbles12345, Introvertbowl and VegasGranny for the comments! See you again soon :)


	5. Chapter Five

Dean rested his head against his pillow and forced himself to sleep, but his nightmares didn't allow him much time. A few hours passed before he sat up, disturbed by a dream of him chasing Cas, but never finding him. He rubbed his face and dragged himself to the bathroom, washing up and dressing. When he went out to the kitchen, Charlie was still sitting at the table with the vessel. Dean ignored them until he'd made himself a coffee and grabbed the medical kit from under the sink.

'He say anything?' Dean asked Charlie gruffly.

'I don't think he knows how,' Charlie shrugged. 'Oh, by the way I named him Leo.'

'Excuse me?'

'Well, we couldn't keep calling him "the vessel",' she said defensively. 'Maybe he is just a basic one, but he _is_ still a human and he should have a name.'

'I don't know about that,' Dean frowned, but then he saw an almost pleased look on the vessel's face and shrugged. 'All right, I guess if he likes it…'

'He does? How can you tell?'

Dean just shrugged again and opened the medical kit. 'Where's Sam?' he asked as he pushed up Leo's sleeves.

'Supply run, I think,' Charlie said, still tapping on her tablet.

Dean groaned loudly. 'You let Sam get the food? Come on, Charlie, he's gonna make us eat kale or broccoli or something.'

'That would hardly be the worst thing in the world,' Charlie smirked.

'Says you…' Dean trailed off as he began to unravel the bandages on Leo's wrists.

'What are those?' Charlie asked.

'I don't know… Burns from those weird shackles…'

The burns looked no better, and the blisters had begun to ooze. Leo recoiled slightly, but allowed Dean to clean them and wrap up them again. Dean encouraged him to drink some water, but he didn't do much else but sit there.

Dean drained his coffee just as Sam came back through the door.

'Please tell me you got something edible,' said Dean.

'Depends on your definition of edible,' Sam said as he descended the stairs, and dumping a bag on the table.

Dean dug into it, tossing the fruit and vegetables out onto the table. 'Avocado? Really?' He threw it straight into the trash.

'Come on, man, those are expensive,' Sam complained.

Dean kept digging until he found a package of bacon and some eggs. 'That's more like it. ' He took it to the kitchen and started frying it all up, making them all a plate, even Sam. He was pleased when Leo picked up a fork by himself and started eating.

'Any angel activity while I was asleep?' Dean asked through a mouthful of bacon.

'Not yet,' Charlie said.

'Well, he's gotta surface at some point.'

'He will, and we'll find him when he does,' said Sam.

Dean shrugged and went back to his food, but was put off when he noticed Leo had put down his fork and was looking directly at Dean. 'Why is he staring at me?' Dean said, disconcerted.

Charlie glanced at Leo. 'Maybe he recognises you.'

'Why me and not you guys?'

'Maybe it's 'cause you and Cas have that "profound bond",' Sam laughed.

Dean groaned loudly. 'Do you have to bring that up?'

'They have a what?' Charlie asked.

'A profound bond,' Sam laughed. 'I'm not kidding, those were Cas's exact words.'

Charlie laughed incredulously, and Dean got to his feet, yanking everyone's plates away. 'You guys all suck.' He aggressively scrubbed the dishes while they laughed, until Leo uttered a pained whine, pressing his hands to his ears. Dean nearly dropped his plate in shock, since Leo hadn't made a single sound since they'd found him.

'What's wrong?' Sam asked him, reaching out with a hand, then Charlie's tablet bleeped loudly.

'Whoa!' Charlie exclaimed, tapping on it furiously. 'Bingo, celestial energy registered in... Australia?'

Dean frowned. 'What's he want in Australia?' he said, as he crouched next to Leo.

'How do we know it's Cas?' Sam said. 'Could be Michael.'

'It's Cas,' said Dean, watching pain roll across Leo's face. 'Leo can hear him.'

' _Leo?'_

 _'_ Not now, Sam.' Dean shifted so Leo could see him. 'What's he saying? Anything?' But Leo just curled up in his chair.

'We're getting spontaneous wildfires here, guys,' Charlie said in alarm.

'What the hell is he doing?' Dean muttered.

'I don't know but he's lighting up New South Wales like nobody's business.'

Leo hissed through his teeth, then suddenly stopped, dropping his hands back into his lap.

'Damn, lost the signature,' Charlie said, disappointed. 'He's gone again.'

'What the hell was that about?' said Sam.

'Got me,' Dean shrugged. He was staring at Leo, who now looked significantly more tired.

Sam sighed. 'Well, we got another lead to check out. I'll see if I can translate the Enochian on those shackles.'

'Ooh, let me try it on my translation app,' Charlie said enthusiastically.

Sam looked doubtful. 'You think an app can translate angel language?'

'Why not? We can take the characters we know already and have it search for patterns. A partial result is better than no result,' she added, cutting off Sam's protest.

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag that contained the shackles. They rattled menacingly as Sam carried it out over and made a loud thunk on the table.

Leo twitched, and when Sam pulled the shackles out, he threw himself out of his chair, scrambling away from them.

'What's wrong with him?' Sam said.

'He's scared of them,' said Dean, following Leo to where he was hiding under the stairs. 'Hey, it's okay,' he said, in the gentle voice he usually reserved for children. 'Come on out, you're safe.'

Leo didn't move but to rub his wrists.

'lt's just Sam, he won't hurt you.' Dean reached out to the terrified vessel. 'I've got you.'

Leo hesitantly stepped out from under the stairs, then clutched Dean tightly. Dean could feel him shaking.

'I'll take you to your room, you could probably use some sleep.' Leo held onto him as Dean led him away, and his trembling died down as soon as they were away from Sam, though he didn't look any less scared when Dean put him on his bed.

Dean suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. 'I'll stay until you're asleep.'

Leo lay down, flat on his back and head against his pillow, staring straight up at the ceiling until his eyelids finally fluttered closed.

Dean stayed a while after Leo had fallen asleep. His breathing was deeper without Cas, he noticed. He tucked Leo under the covers, and whispered in his ear.

‘Can you hear me when I do this?’ he asked Cas, remembering when Cas had called out Raphael through his vessel. ‘Why are you setting fire to Australia, man? What did it ever do to you?’ Though he should have been used to it by now, Dean was still disappointed when there was no response, so he sighed and switched off the light, leaving Leo to sleep.

Sam still had the shackles out when Dean returned, writing down all the characters on them and giving them to Charlie.

‘Got anything off those?’ Dean asked, not bothering to hide the melancholy in his voice.

‘Not in the last ten minutes, no,’ Sam said snippily.

Dean grumpily grabbed a beer from the fridge, and dropped into a chair. He knew Cas wouldn’t have his phone, but Dean texted him anyway. _Is there something we need to take care of in Australia?_ He was so desperate to hear Cas’s voice at that moment that he would have tried anything, but in the silence only punctuated by Sam’s pen scribbling and Charlie’s tapping, Dean couldn’t think of anything more he could do. He prayed silently. _Come home,_ he thought, over and over, until his chest tightened and he couldn’t think about how much he missed Cas anymore. He went for a drive alone, leaving Sam and Charlie to their research, returning hours later when he got hungry.

‘It looks like it might be some kind of binding spell,’ Sam said as Dean came in, brow furrowed and staring down at his paper. ‘But there are some of these that I can’t translate. We need more information - more Enochian to study maybe?’

‘Where do we get that?’ said Dean.

‘I was thinking… Naomi?’

‘No.’

‘Dean-’

‘Absolutely not. For all we know, she’s in on this and we’ll just be leading her to Leo and Cas.’

‘Or she’s not, and this is Michael’s doing and she’s just as scared as we are,’ Sam said reasonably.

‘I said no, Sam. It’s too risky.’

Sam sighed. ‘All right, well that’s about all I can get out of these shackles. So unless you’ve got any other leads?’

Dean shook his head.

‘We’ll keep looking,’ Charlie said sincerely, ignoring Sam’s sigh.

‘Thanks, Charlie.’

  
  


There was no sign of Cas or Michael for days, and Dean felt himself getting restless again. The only solace he found was in talking to Leo. He never said anything back, but Dean felt an understanding between them. They both wanted Cas back; both missed his presence. The burns on Leo’s wrists refused to heal, but Dean diligently cleaned and dressed them. He talked to Leo, asking him questions, and slowly but surely, Leo began to show something of a personality. He liked a lot of the same things Cas did, and this at least soothed Dean. Dean noticed that Leo liked to look at Cas’s feathers, and often found him arranging the ones he found in patterns and admiring the glow they made. Sometimes Dean would even let Leo hold the one he wore around his neck, pleased at how gently Leo held it in his palm.

Then Leo began to get twitchy and easily scared again, and the alarms started going off on all their phones.

‘Siberian forest caught fire,’ Sam called, while Dean tried to comfort Leo, who was rolling around on the floor, hands over his face.

‘What the hell is he doing?’ Dean growled.

‘No idea.’

There were several more fires over the following weeks; In Japan, Saudi Arabia, Greece, and on and on until they were watching news reports of the freak fires across the world.

‘Hey, I got something,’ Charlie called, bursting in through the door and ignoring their hastily raised guns.

‘What?’ Dean said, immediately dropping his and pulling out a chair for her.

‘He doesn’t look so good,’ Charlie commented, looking at Leo as she settled herself down.

The more fires Cas had set, the more it affected Leo. He’d lost much of his appetite, and could only sleep when he was next to Dean. Heavy bags had appeared under his eyes, and still his burns refused to heal.

‘He’s not doing so well without Cas,’ Sam explained. ‘He was made to be a vessel after all, maybe he’s not supposed to go so long without him.’

‘Yeah, yeah, we’ll get into that later. What do you got on Cas?’

‘Well… I think I might have found out why he’s doing this…’ Charlie trailed off, looking hesitantly at Dean.

‘You’re not gonna like it.’

‘Probably not, just tell me already.’

Charlie sighed and flicked through news reports on her tablet. ‘I started scouring these reports for anything weird. It wasn’t consistent at first, but then I noticed that when the fires were near people, some of them started hearing weird noises, like a whining noise, and some of them heard a voice.’

‘Cas must be talking to someone,’ Dean said. He felt a thrill of excitement, and tried to ignore the slight prick of jealousy in his stomach. ‘Did anybody hear what he was saying?’

Charlie hesitated again, biting her lip. ‘Mostly the same phrases over and over. He says “I’ll burn it all” and, “Leave me be”, but mostly he’s saying “It’s not real”.’

Dean sucked in a breath.

‘So, he thinks this is all fake? Like he’s being tricked, or something?’ Sam said. 

‘I guess.’

‘That sounds like something straight out of Lucifer’s playbook,’ Dean said. ‘Maybe Michael’s been taking lessons.’

‘Wouldn’t be the first time Cas lost it after an encounter with an archangel,’ said Sam, holding his hands up defensively when Dean shot him a nasty look.

‘Why would Michael do this, though?’ Charlie said. ‘Surely he’d want to come after you guys first. Why Cas?’

Sam’s eyes lingered on Dean for a moment, and he shrugged. ‘I don’t know. He’s been in the cage so long, he could want anything by now.’

‘What can we do?’ Charlie asked.

‘I don’t know,’ said Dean, his stomach sinking. It had been hard enough to convince Sam of what was real. How could he possibly do that for an eons-old celestial being?

Then all their alarms went off again, and Leo abruptly passed out.

‘Where is he?’ Dean asked, holding Leo up.

‘California,’ Charlie said, ‘and Chile. He’s flying between the two, I think.’

‘Do you think we can go get him?’ said Sam.

‘Get him how?’ Dean grouched. ‘You got something we can trap an angel in?’

Sam nodded at Leo, whose head was resting on Dean’s shoulder.

‘What? We can’t use him,’ Dean protested.

‘Why not? He’s literally an angel vessel.’

‘Because the only way out of this is to get Cas to trust us, and that’ll never happen if we trick him back into his vessel,’ Dean said.

‘Okay, you got any big ideas on how to get him to trust us?’ Sam said irritably.

‘I don’t know yet,’ Dean snapped.

‘Well, you better think of something before he burns the whole damn planet to the ground.’

Dean stood up, bringing Leo with him, and dragged him back to Cas’s room. He regained consciousness not long after, but he was too weak to sit up. Dean looked down at him in concern. ‘Cas would make you better, right?’ he murmured.

Leo met his gaze and gave a brief nod, then fell asleep again.

  
  


A few more days passed and Leo got weaker and weaker. Dean was barely able to get him to eat and drink at all, and on the morning that Cas set a fire at Yellowstone, Dean wasn’t able to wake him at all.

‘What do we do?’ Sam said, trying to shake Leo awake.

‘We gotta get him to Cas,’ said Dean.

‘I thought you said we weren’t tricking him?’

‘We’re not. This is the only way to save Leo. He _needs_ Cas.’

Sam nodded slowly. ‘Okay, how are we gonna do it? He already left Yellowstone.’

‘I got an idea,’ Dean said, his cheeks warming. ‘Wait outside a minute.’

‘But-’

‘Just do it, Sam, we don’t have time to argue.’

Sam sighed and left, and Dean knelt down beside Leo to whisper in his ear.

‘Hey, Cas, do you remember that lake we went fishing at? It was just the two of us, and I showed you which lures to use?’ He paused, but there was no indication that either Cas or Leo had heard him. ‘Meet me there, okay? Please? I… I need you…’ Dean ran out of words, so he stood up and went back out to Sam. ‘Help me get him in the car.’

Sam didn’t argue this time, and he and Dean carried Leo to the Impala, laying him across the backseat.

Dean’s palms were sweaty against the wheel of the car as he drove. He had no idea if Cas would meet them at the lake, or if Cas had even heard him, but he had to try. The tension was thick in the car, and neither he nor Sam spoke until they approached the lake an hour away.

Dark clouds swirled overhead, and strong wind whipped up the water in the lake.

‘That’s gotta be him,’ Sam muttered.

‘Yeah…’

They pulled Leo out together and took him to the edge of the lake.

‘Cas, you up there?’ Dean yelled over the furious wind.

The clouds parted and bathed them in brilliant white light, and a high-pitched screech hit their ears. They dropped Leo and pressed their hands over their ears.

‘Cas, come on, you know we don’t understand Enochian!’ Dean yelled, and the noise suddenly died, and the light faded away, almost as though they had surprised Cas.

Sam went to grab Leo, but the noise started again.

‘Back off, Sam!’ shouted Dean, and the noise dropped once Sam scrambled away.

Dean carefully knelt beside Leo, lifting him up so he could talk to Cas without yelling. He was still weakly holding one of Cas's feathers.

'I know you're scared,' he began in Leo's ear, 'but you can't let him die, Cas. Sure you could get another vessel, but I know he's your favourite… He's my favourite too.'

The wind quietened slightly.

'He was made special for you.' Dean hugged Leo tightly, and the wind stopped. Dean waited, but nothing happened and the clouds above remained ominously dark. 'You're still worried this is a trick,' he said. 'I get it.' He glanced back at Sam and took a deep breath. 'Okay, we'll just leave him here for you.' He made to lower Leo back down to the ground. 'Take care of him,' he whispered, as much to Leo as to Cas, and got to his feet, dusting himself down. 'Come on, Sam, let's go.'

'Dude, what the hell, we can't just leave him here!' Sam exclaimed.

'It's okay, Cas has got him.'

'But-'

'Get in the car, Sam.' Dean slammed the door as he climbed in. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd done the right thing, as he looked at Leo's prone body through his rear view mirror.

'Are you sure about this?' Sam said anxiously, twisting in his seat to watch Leo.

'Not really, but it's our best shot.' Dean started the car, only waiting a moment before driving away. He kept looking through the mirror at the dark clouds overhead, even long after Leo had disappeared beyond the horizon.

_ It’s okay, Cas,  _ he thought.  _ It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay... _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to pebbles12345 and VegsaGranny for the comments! See you again soon :)


	6. Chapter Six

Dean kept glancing up at his mirror, even when Leo had disappeared beyond the horizon. Boiling grey clouds caused by Cas still swirled overhead, seemingly deaf to Dean's prayers attempting to reassure him. He may as well have been talking to the grass, the lake, the sky itself for all the good it did him. He kept driving, all the way back to the bunker. He looked around hopefully, but Cas still hadn't appeared.

Sam patted Dean's shoulder sympathetically and went to the kitchen for coffee.

Dean spent the rest of the day pacing around the bunker, waiting, muttering to Cas, asking him to come back. He finally threw himself onto his bed at three in the morning, giving up for the day. He clutched his necklace in his hand, taking heart in the fact that it was still warm. But he was only asleep for about an hour before a huge crash shook the bunker and he jumped out of bed, yanking his gun from under his pillow. He ran out into the hall, where he met Sam in his pajamas.

'What the hell was that?' Sam said, gun in hand.

Dean shrugged and lead the way, charging into the main room, where the noise had come from. 'Cas!' he gasped, lowering his gun.

Cas was lying on the floor, still wearing the faded hoodie and jeans Dean had dressed his vessel in that morning. He was clutching his sides, groaning in pain, and it took a moment for Dean to process what he was looking at. Along with Cas came a pair of huge, powerful wings, stretching almost the width of the room. Fluffy white with a soft glow, they were just about the most amazing things Dean had ever seen.

'Holy crap,' Dean muttered.

'Yeah, you got that right,' said Sam.

Dean rolled his eyes, but he was so relieved to see Cas, he almost didn't care that Sam was making fun of him. He put down the gun and carefully approached Cas.

'Are they… supposed to be out like that?' Sam asked.

Dean looked down at Cas's agonised face. 'I'm thinking no.' Then he noticed that there were still burns on Cas's wrists, still angry and still weeping. 'That's weird.' He knelt beside Cas and went to grab one of Cas's arms, but before he could touch it, Cas's eyes burned blue and Dean was pushed backwards. The blast was weak, but it caught Dean off guard and he fell over.

Cas tried to drag himself away, but he was impeded by his own wings.

'Cas, come on, let us help,' Dean said, struggling to his feet. 'What do you need?'

Cas reached for the table, then screwed his eyes shut. His wings being exposed was clearly causing him great pain.

Sam looked at the shackles that he had left on the table. Where Dean had had his pacing to keep himself occupied, Sam had taken to taking out the shackles and examining them, hoping that maybe _this_ time he would find something. 'You want these?' Sam said.

Cas groaned loudly and tried to drag himself closer to the table, to no avail.

Dean's chest tightened. Seeing Cas in this much pain scared the hell out of him. What could hurt an angel? 'Tell us what you need, Cas,' Dean said, ignoring the slightly strangulated note in his voice.

Cas grunted and crawled towards the table, and he moved a few inches, but when his wings dragged along the floor he screamed and most of the light bulbs in the room exploded.

'What's happening?' Dean yelled desperately.

'My - vessel. It - it can't contain me,' Cas forced out.

'What are you talking about? He was literally made to contain you.'

Cas just reached for the shackles again, crying out in agony.

Dean made to grab the shackles, but Sam stopped him.

'Hold on, Dean, I think it's these things that did this,' Sam said. 'Check it out, he still has those burns. He should have healed those by now.'

' _Please,'_ Cas groaned.

'Sam-'

'Come on, Dean, think about it. What else could it be? The spell has to be for something.'

'So what do we do? We can't leave him like this.'

'Well…'

'Do _not_ say Naomi,' said Dean, pointing a finger at Sam.

'Who else will know what to do, Dean?' Sam protested.

'Don't you do it-'

'I pray to Naomi, we need your help,' Sam said loudly, talking over Dean.

Dean grumbled and grabbed Cas's blade, moments before Naomi appeared in the room.

'Sam,' Naomi said placidly. 'What can I do for you?'

'Uh, well…' Sam gestured down at Cas, who looked as though he would like nothing more than to get as far away from Naomi as possible, but he couldn't move any more.

Naomi's eyes widened as she took in Cas's wings.

'I take it that means it's bad,' Sam cringed.

Naomi moved towards Cas, but Dean stepped between them.

'I think that's close enough,' he growled.

'We think it has something to do with these,' Sam said hastily, showing her the shackles.

She picked them up with interest. 'I haven't seen these in a long time,' she told them. 'It's imbued with a binding spell, not for the angel, but for the vessel. It binds the vessel to the earthly plane, and to the angel, locking them together but also tearing them apart. It's a particularly messy form of celestial torture, which is why we stopped using it.'

'Can it be fixed?'

'Yes.' Naomi drew her blade and again moved towards Cas, but Dean held Cas's blade to her throat.

'How about you tell us what to do,' Dean said with narrowed eyes.

'You need to break the spell,' Naomi said icily. 'Cut through the sigils on his wrist with the blade, it's the only way to get rid of it.'

Dean hesitated, staring at Naomi. She was unreadable as always, but he decided to try it her way when he glanced down at Cas. 'Celestial torture, huh?'

'Yes. It's like having your soul slowly shredded. I'm sure you can appreciate what that feels like.'

Dean glared at her, lowering the blade slightly. 'You move, you're toast.' He crouched beside Cas and tried to grab his wrist, but Cas kept shoving him away, throwing feeble punches. His eyes glowed blue again and he tried to throw Dean back, but he was so weak all that happened was he ruffled Dean's hair slightly.

'Give me your wrist!' Dean barked, snatching at it. 'Come on, it'll make you better.' Cas struggled against him, until he abruptly stopped. His expression changed. It was still pained, but it wasn't Cas anymore. 'Leo?' Dean said incredulously.

Leo nodded, holding out his wrist.

'Did you take over? Can you do that?'

Leo just grunted.

'Dean, hurry up!' Sam said exasperatedly.

'Right.' Dean picked up his arm and drew the point around his wrist, cutting through the sigils all the way around.

They screamed so loudly the whole bunker quaked.

'I'm sorry, I know it hurts,' Dean said. 'Let me get the other one.'

Leo pushed it at Dean.

'Thanks, Leo,' Dean said gently. He did the same thing on the other wrist, and as soon as he finished, the room filled with blinding white light. Dean screwed his eyes shut, and he was once again pushed away, but this time the force was so strong, he was thrown clean across the room. A high-pitched screeching assaulted his ears and he curled into a ball to try and block it out. Eventually, it faded, and he warily stood up. Spots flashed before his eyes, still dazzled by Cas's outburst. He looked at Sam and saw that one of his ears was bleeding. Naomi was still standing in place, completely unruffled, but Cas was who Dean stared at.

He was standing, but only just, and his wings were gone. He looked relieved, but his stance was tense, waiting for the right moment to spring. His eyes were flicking between Dean and Naomi. It was a sticky moment, but it had been so long since Dean had seen Cas, he couldn't help grinning like an idiot. 'Hey, Cas,' he said. He waited for those two words, the deep but almost hesitant, "Hello, Dean", but it never came. Instead, Cas began to look more and more like a cornered wolf, tensing even more.

'It's okay, you feel better now, right?' Dean said, holding out a hand.

Cas's face twitched.

Up until that point, Naomi was watching him curiously, but then she took a step towards him and he disappeared with a rustle.

'Well great, thanks for that,' Dean grumbled at Naomi. 'How are we supposed to get him back?'

'Where did you get these?' Naomi asked, ignoring Dean, looking at the shackles.

'We found them with Cas,' said Sam, moving to stand in front of them. 'Have you guys heard anything from Michael? It's been radio silence for us since he broke out.'

'What?' Naomi's mouth tightened and she turned a shade paler.

'Didn't you know?' Dean said, slightly smugly. 'Michael got loose. He's out there somewhere.'

Naomi nodded. 'I should go.' She disappeared and Dean snorted.

'Got her spooked,' he smirked.

'Celestial torture? Sounds fun.'

They jumped, and Crowley was standing behind them, holding the shackles.

'Thank you, boys,' he said. 'I'm sure I'll enjoy these.'

'Crowley, wait-' Sam began, but Crowley had already disappeared.

'Son of a bitch!' Dean raged, his happiness at seeing Cas already evaporating. 'How the hell did he get past the warding?'

'Probably followed Naomi in, she and Cas probably spiked the angelic energy in the area.'

'So now what?'

'We should put the warding back up, now that Naomi knows how to find us.'

'Uh, no,' Dean frowned. 'If we do that, then Cas can't get in.'

'Dean, what if she comes back? What if she brings other angels?'

'Then we light 'em up, like always.'

'But-'

'No more arguments, Sammy. No angel warding and that's final.'

'Fine, but I'm switching the angel alarms back on.'

Dean stomped away, slamming his bedroom door shut. His heart ached and he didn't want Sam to see it. He sat down on the bed and closed his eyes, holding his necklace tightly.

'Hey, Cas,' he said quietly, 'I'm sorry we let Naomi near you, I just wanted to make you better, that's all. Do you still think this isn't real? Did Michael do this to you?' he waited for a response, but nothing came, and he shrivelled up inside. 'Just come home, Cas,' he said, his voice hitching in his throat. 'I'm real, I promise.' But he knew even as he said it that there was no way Cas would just take his word for it. 'I get it, you need proof. Take all the time you need. I'll wait… me and Sam will be right here if you need anything.' A lump formed in Dean's throat and he couldn't talk anymore, so he lay down and projected soothing thoughts at Cas, whether he was listening or not.

  
  


They didn't hear from Cas or Michael. Days. Weeks. Months passed. Sam and Dean went on hunt after hunt, but Dean was always looking over his shoulder, always looking for his angel.

Cas's coat and tie hung in Dean's closet until he started bringing them around in the car with him, and he kept Cas's car tuned and ready to go, just in case.

Most nights, Dean would sit outside, watching the sky, waiting for any sign of Cas. He sat on the hood of his car with a beer, sometimes with Cas's coat, and he would pray. He would tell Cas all about his day, what they were hunting, and he would always remind Cas that they were there for him.

On some nights, he was joined by Sam, and once or twice they had a big bonfire with Charlie, Kevin and Garth. None of them mentioned it, but they all sent their quiet prayers to Cas.

Some nights, Dean was out so long he would fall asleep right on the hood of the car, alternately clutching Cas's coat or his feather. On these occasions he would wake up with a blanket draped over him. Sam always denied doing it.

Some nights, however, Dean wasn't able to sit outside. If it was raining, or if they were on a hunt, and every time Dean felt a deep guilt bubbling inside him. How could he be thinking of other things when Cas was out there somewhere, maybe being chased all over creation by Michael.

Several months had passed by the time Dean saw Cas again. He was sitting on his car again, staring up at the stars. He had a blanket and Cas's coat, and a cup of hot chocolate when Sam had insisted he drink something other than beer and whiskey. He didn't mind. It was almost a comfort to him now, coming outside and venting about his life. The stars twinkled at him, and a smile tugged at his lips.

'You always liked talking about the stars,' he murmured, slipping into nostalgia. 'You know, I used to pretend I didn't remember what you said, 'cause I like listening to you talk about 'em. Maybe you knew though, you're so damn smart.' He looked down at his mug, and laughed to himself. 'You love to correct me too. You always seemed so pleased with yourself… What was your favourite star? The North star, right?'

'Actually, my favourite star is Sirius.'

Dean's head snapped up, and there was Cas. He could hardly believe his eyes, and that his obvious ploy had worked.

'It's the brightest because it's actually a binary system. And I helped design it, of course.'

Dean just stared at him. He was still wary and tense, but there was more desperation in his eyes now, and he was still wearing Dean's clothes. Dean jumped up from the car, but Cas stepped back, a blade flicking out from his hoodie sleeve. Dean held up his hands, sitting back down. He watched Cas, thinking of something to say, and he eventually landed on the blades. 'You wanna trade?' he said, nodding at the one Cas was holding. He just looked confused. Dean reached inside his jacket, very slowly pulling out Cas's original blade. 'This one's yours. Remember, I carved your name on it?' He turned it over so that Cas could see the messy " _Castiel"_ on the hilt. 'Then you did it again, but I think this is Enochian.'

Cas stared at it, and Dean slowly lowered himself so he could roll it over to Cas. Cas picked it up, not taking his eyes off Dean.

'How about your coat?' Dean held it out, carefully stepping closer.

Cas twitched, but didn't move away, letting Dean get near enough to pass him his coat.

Dean could feel Cas's hand under the fabric as he took it. 'How's that vessel treating you?' he asked.

'Better,' Cas said, rolling his shoulders. 'Thank you for taking care of him.'

'No sweat,' Dean smiled. 'We called him Leo, I hope you don't mind.'

Cas shook his head, then the feather on Dean's necklace caught his eye. 'Is that one of mine?' He reached out to touch it, and Dean tried to ignore the heat creeping into his cheeks.

'It is.' Dean then remembered where he'd got the necklace from. 'I wasn't going through your stuff,' he said hastily. 'Leo gave it to me.'

'Why would he do that?'

'How should I know? He's your vessel.'

'I think he likes you. You were good to him.'

'Like I said, he's your favourite.' Dean put his own hand over his necklace. 'Your wings are amazing,' he blurted out.

Cas looked taken aback. 'Thank you.'

'Do they always hurt, or was that just the spell?'

Cas shrunk away, suspicion dictating his every move.

'Okay, you don't have to talk about it.'

Cas but his lip. 'I don't know if this is real,' he murmured.

'I know,' Dean said. 'I'll find a way to prove that this is it, I swear. I did it for Sam, I can do it for you.'

'For Sam, it involved reopening a deep wound over and over again,' Cas said doubtfully.

'Yeah, I didn't think you'd go for that.'

That finally drew a smile out of Cas.

'You wanna talk about the stars some more?' Dean offered. He wanted Cas to stay, but he looked like he would take off at any moment. 'You got a favourite constellation?'

'We've discussed this, Dean.'

'Yeah, but tell me again.'

Cas opened his mouth, but the door to the bunker suddenly slammed open. Cas jumped back.

'Cas, wait-' But he was gone.

Sam sprinted up to him. 'Hey! The angel alarms went off! Are you okay?'

Dean was heavy. 'Yeah,' he mumbled. 'It was Cas.'

'Oh. Is he…?'

'No. He's real scared of something, and he definitely has a case of your crazies. Again.' Dean sighed, sitting back down on the car.

'I wish he would stop getting in trouble with archangels,' Sam frowned, sitting next to him. 

'You can say that again.'

Sam nudged Dean with an elbow. 'But hey, he's persistent if nothing else. Didn't Raphael kill him twice?'

'It wasn't technically Raphael the second time.'

'It was his fault though.'

Dean chuckled.

'He's gonna be all right, Dean. We'll figure out how to bring him around.'

'How do you know?'

'Because he always comes back for you.'

Dean froze. They were coming dangerously close to talking about what they never talked about. He wasn't ready. His fingertips tingled from how fast his heart was beating. He waited for Sam to broach the subject, his mind racing through his well-worn deflections, but Sam just slapped his shoulder and walked back towards the bunker.

'Those angel alarms suck, by the way,' Dean called to him. 'We were out here for like ten minutes before they went off.'

'Whatever, are you coming in, or what?'

Dean looked back up at the sky, at the constellation Cassiopeia. Cas's favourite. 'Nah, I think I'll hang out here for a while.'

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Raphaelsgirl121, pebbles12345, oldmaker and Dragon67 for the comments!  
> Sorry for the delay, I've been kinda sick but I'm okay now so I'm back. See you again next time.


	7. Chapter Seven

Dean almost settled back into his pattern of waiting, but this time there was more purpose to it. He and Sam went back and forth, coming up with ways they could prove to Cas what was real. 

'Did anything other than the hand thing get through to you?' 

'Uh, yeah…' Sam said slowly, avoiding Dean's eyes. 'You did.' 

'Me?' 

'Yeah, you're not easy to replicate.' 

Dean smirked. 'So you're saying I'm one of a kind?' 

'Oh yeah, you're special all right,' Sam snorted. 

'That doesn't help me, he's an angel. He's lived for like millions of years, I'm probably like an ant to him, and let me ask you, can you tell the difference between ants?'

Sam gave him an incredulous look. 'Do you really believe that?' 

Dean shrugged. 

'You broke him out of whatever spell Naomi had on him,' Sam pointed out. 

'That was the angel tablet.' 

'Sure it was,' Sam said, rolling his eyes. 'Look, I think it's worth a try. Just say something to him that only you could say.' 

'Like what?' 

'I don't know, Dean, use your imagination. What could you say to Cas that can convince him you're real?' 

Dean was startled by the meaningful look Sam was giving him. So Sam  _ did  _ know. And he wanted Dean to tell Cas. Dean swallowed, but nodded. 'That could work,' he said, ignoring the slight crack in his voice. 'Okay, I gotta go. He won't meet me here.' 

'I'll come with you.' 

'Uh, no,' Dean scoffed. 'You stay here and see if you can track down Michael. It's freaking me out that he hasn't shown his ugly face yet.' 

'All right. Good luck.' 

'Whatever.' 

Dean stomped out, masking his nerves by pretending to be annoyed, but he could already feel his palms sweating. He chose a bar a couple of hours away so he could psych himself up as he drove, but it didn't work. He was a wreck by the time he got there, parking his car haphazardly. He cleared his throat but it didn't help much. 

'Hey, Cas, I'm at that bar you like a couple hours out from the bunker. I think I know how to prove I'm real. Come see me, if you can.' 

Dean went inside and sat at the bar, ordering himself a beer. He drank almost all of it straight away. He heard the door open behind him, and he knew without looking that it was Cas. His presence was immediate, obvious, and comforting. Once you knew what an angel in the room felt like, you could never forget it. Dean drained the remainder and turned. 

There he was, standing warily at the door. He was dressed in his own clothes now, the trench coat around his shoulders, but he wasn't wearing his tie. Dean bit his lip as Cas stared at him. His shoulders were tense and his eyes were glittering dangerously, but he was still the same old Cas, Dean could see. 

'Hey,' Dean croaked. 'Come sit.' 

Cas looked down at the stool and walked carefully over, looking Dean up and down before he sat down. 

Dean's mouth had gone dry, so he ordered more drinks. Beer for Cas and whiskey for himself. Dean swallowed back his entire drink, but Cas didn't touch his. 

'You… had an idea?' Cas prompted quietly. 

Dean nodded, his heart hammering in his chest. 'Sam wants me to tell you something only I would know. Do you think that would work?' 

'I don't know. Do you have something in mind?' 

Dean opened his mouth and shook his head, getting another drink instead. He slammed that one too. 'Okay,' he said, shaking out his hands. 'Okay, here we go.' 

'Dean…' 

'Just let me get this out.' 

Cas nodded and waited. 

'So here's the thing,' Dean began. 'I don't know if you know already, I mean maybe you do, you're really smart, but maybe you don't, 'cause you're kinda crappy at social stuff-' 

'Did you bring me here to insult my social skills?' 

'No! No, I'm just sayin', since you're an angel and all, you haven't had a lot of practice. You've only been down here a few years, so it's not really your fault, but still… You look great, by the way, but what happened to your tie? Your whole outfit looks weird without it-'

'Dean, you're babbling.' 

'Right. God, this is hard.' 

Cas was beginning to look suspicious. It was now or never. 

Dean sucked in a huge breath. 'Cas, I - the way I feel about you - I've never had this with anyone else before.' 

Cas just looked confused. 

'What - what I'm trying to say is-' Dean stopped to rub his face, then took the plunge. 'Cas, I love you, and - and I've missed you so much it hurts. You've been my closest friend, but you're so much more than that too. I need you to come back. I don't know how to go on without you.' All of the air in his body left him and he couldn't talk anymore. All he could do was wait for Cas's reaction. 

It was as though time had stopped, and Dean and Cas were the only things in the universe. Dean couldn't move or breathe, he could hear his blood pounding in his ears. The moment stretched on and on until Dean could hardly stand it anymore. Cas's face was unreadable, a completely smooth mask but for immense, complicated emotion behind his eyes that Dean couldn't discern. How could he? How could he ever understand what went through the mind of a being like Cas? 

Then Cas abruptly got to his feet, knocking the stool over. His expression was angry, feral even. He snatched Dean up by the front of his shirt and dragged him outside. 

'Cas, what the-' 

Cas shoved him against the wall with one arm, his anger spilling out and causing all the windows on the building to shatter around them. He didn't appear to notice and held his blade up to Dean with his other hand. 'Who are you?' he growled. 

'Wha- Cas, it's me,' Dean choked, Cas's arm pressing into his chest. 

'Who sent you?' 

'No one! It's me, I swear!' 

Cas pushed the tip of his blade up to Dean's throat, and he resisted the urge to swallow. 'No! Dean doesn't - he wouldn't - you can't use him against me.' 

'But-' 

'Enough.' Cas glared at him. 'I should kill you just for wearing his face.' 

'Okay,' Dean murmured. 'Do what you gotta do.' 

Cas's eyes roved over Dean pulled back his arm, raising his blade. Dean closed his eyes, expecting a stab through the heart, but all he felt was a small slice on his arm. 

He opened his eyes again and Cas was staring down at the cut he'd made. 

'Red blood,' Dean muttered breathlessly. 'Not a monster.' The pressure on his chest eased as Cas pulled away. 'Please don't go,' Dean whispered, but it was too late. There was a flutter of wings and Cas was gone. 

Dean forced himself back to the car, kicking gravel as he went. He sat still for a moment, processing what had happened, then slammed his fists into the steering wheel, blasting the horn. Then he rested his head on his hands. He could still feel Cas's arm against his chest, and he made no move to clean up the thin wound on his arm. His hand moved up to his necklace where he clutched Cas's feather, fighting back the sickness churning in his stomach and souring the back of his throat. His knees were weak and he felt drained. He'd put everything out there, but it didn't change anything. 'I'm sorry I wasn't enough,' he whispered to Cas, then made his way back to the bunker. 

Sam was waiting for him when he got back. He didn't look as though he'd moved all day. 

'How'd it go?' Sam asked anxiously. 

'Didn't work,' Dean said gruffly, brushing past him. 'I don't want to talk about it. I'm gonna take a nap.' He didn't give Sam a chance to say anything and just stomped away to his room. 

Dean lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn't sleep. His heart hurt too much. He'd been sure that confessing would convince Cas he was real, but of course Cas didn't feel it. Of course he didn't know. Dean blinked back the rapidly forming tears and knuckled his eyes, frustrated by his sudden lack of control over his emotions. He pushed himself up and went back out to Sam. 

'I thought you were napping,' Sam frowned. 

'Changed my mind. I need to stab something in its ugly face.' 

'All right, well, looks like we got a Wendigo-' 

'Great, let's go.' 

'Dean-' 

'No talking, Sam, just murder. Come on.' If there was anything worse than how he was feeling, it was the sympathetic look on Sam's face. 

Dean threw his hunting bag into the car and let Sam direct him to the motel nearest the Wendigo. To Sam's surprise, Dean followed him inside. By now, he was used to Dean sitting outside for hours on end. 

'You're not staying out?' 

'Don't see the point,' Dean grumbled, throwing himself down on the bed. 

'You can't give up,' Sam said incredulously. 'Cas needs you.' 

'I'm not so sure about that.' 

'Don't be stupid, Dean, of course he does. You're the only one that can bring him back.' 

'How exactly am I supposed to do that, Sam?' Dean said angrily. 'What else can I do?' 

'You'll think of something.' 

'Why don't  _ you  _ think of something?' Dean turned away from Sam and pretended to be asleep. He held his necklace and brushed Cas's feather to his lips. His heart squeezed terribly again.  _ I miss you,  _ he thought. Now that he'd already said it once, he couldn't stop thinking it, and it took him hours to fall asleep. 

Sam was in a thoughtful mood the next day, while they investigated the Wendigo. 

'Do you think Michael's after souls?' he mused out loud. 'Maybe he's after Cas to find out how to get into purgatory.' 

'Nah, Michael's not that stupid. I bet he knows the leviathan are in there.' Dean winced. He couldn't help it. He remembered how helpless he'd been, watching them tear Cas apart from the inside. 

'I'm pretty sure it is Michael,' said Dean, watching the Wendigo through a window. 'I've never seen Cas so scared of anything except archangels, and even then… I just wish he'd show himself already.' Dean put down his binoculars. 'We should go, dude's eating an arm.' 

'What? It's broad daylight.'

'Guy's ballsy, come on.' 

They quickly disposed of the Wendigo, catching him by surprise while he was eating, and Dean thought about what Sam had said all the way back to the bunker. There had to be a way to figure out what Michael was up to. If he could do that, then he could protect Cas whether or not Cas believed he was real. 

As he showered, his mind wandered, remembering Cas's war with Raphael, remembering Sam without his soul, and everything that had happened to them. He got out of the shower to brush his teeth in front of the mirror, and thought about all the times Cas had appeared behind him and scared him. He glanced behind himself on the off chance that Cas would choose to appear, but there was nothing there. Dean sighed and wrapped himself in a towel, then stopped. His shoulder had caught his eye in the mirror and he stared at it. Cas's handprint still stood out red on his shoulder. It had burned when he first got it, but he was so used to it by now, he hardly even noticed it anymore. He ran a finger over it. It was a part of him now, just as Cas was. 

Then it hit him. Cas had touched his soul before. He ran out to the table that Sam was sitting at, still in his towel. 

'Oh, are we doing naked Thursdays now?' Sam smirked. 

'Shut up,' Dean said excitedly. ' _ Cas!  _ Get down here, I know how to prove it.' 

'Maybe I should go if it involves being naked.' 

'You're not funny. Cas, come on! I know you don't like the bunker right now, but I've really got it this time!' 

Both of them waited, standing stock still. Then, to Dean's delight, there was a flutter. 

Cas appeared in the middle of the room, brandishing his blade. 'What do you want?' he demanded. 'If you think you can kill me faster than I can kill you, you're wrong.' 

'Cool your jets, man, I'm not gonna kill you,' said Dean. 

'What do you want?' Cas repeated. 

'Let me ask you something, souls are unique, right? Like a fingerprint?' 

Cas nodded slowly. 

'So you couldn't replicate one? Even in a hallucination?' 

'No.' 

Dean grinned and pointed at the handprint on his shoulder. 'Do you remember when you made this?' 

'Yes.' 

'Do you remember what my soul feels like?' 

'Of course,' Cas said softly, lowering his blade ever so slightly. 

'Great! Come get some.' 

'What?' 

Dean rolled his eyes and sat down. 'Come on, come feel up my soul. Lay it on me.' 

'You - you want me to touch your soul?' Cas said slowly. 

'Yeah. You did it to Bobby, didn't you?' 

'He could have died. You could explode if I do this.' 

Dean looked him right in the eye. 'It's worth it.'

Cas glanced up at Sam, who shrugged. 

'Whatever, just try not to kill my brother.' 

Cas nodded and pulled a seat up in front of Dean, placing his blade on the table, still within reach. He pulled off his coat, hanging it neatly on the back of the chair, and rolled up the sleeves of his jacket and shirt. Dean's cheeks warmed. 

'I didn't know we both had to be naked for this,' he joked. 

'I'm not naked,' Cas frowned. 

'Yeah, I - nevermind, let's just do this. Sam, gimme your belt.' 

'Why?' Sam complained. 

'Gotta bite down on something. Come on, hand it over.' 

Sam unbuckled his belt, grumbling, then stepped back, arms folded. 

'Okay, I'm ready,' Dean said, his voice muffled by Sam's belt. 

Cas licked his lips, hesitated before he pressed his hand to Dean's chest and pushed. 

It was like Dean's insides filled with fire. His vision went white and all he knew was the burning and Cas's hands. 

At long last, Cas withdrew, and held Dean up while he caught his breath. 

'That tastes gross,' Dean said, passing Sam his belt back and rubbing his sore chest.

'It's not supposed to taste  _ good _ ,' Sam snarked as he buckled it back on. 

Dean examined Cas's face closely. 'Well?' he chanced. 

Cas smiled sadly and ran a hand through his hair. 'You're Dean,' he murmured. 

'Yeah! Yeah, it's me!' Dean smiled widely, relief and joy spreading through him so quickly he felt almost weightless.

But Cas did appear quite so happy. He just looked thoroughly exhausted. 

'Hey, it's okay,' said Dean, putting both hands on Cas's shoulder. 

'All those fires,' Cas groaned, holding his head in his hands. 

'You didn't hurt anyone,' Dean reassured him. 'We were watching. You were on the news. Well, the fires were on the news, but we knew it was you.' 

Cas didn't respond, and Dean bit his lip. 

'You look tired, man. Why don't you rest up in your room? Sam'll put the warding back up. You won't be able to get out, but nothing can get in either. You'll be safe here.' 

Cas nodded and got up, walking away through the bunker, leaving Sam and Dean in silence. 

Eventually Sam spoke. 'Can you get dressed now?' 

Dean snorted. 'Why, am I making you uncomfortable?' 

'Yeah, you're towel's open.' 

Dean hastily rewrapped his towel and went back to his room to throw on some clothes. When he came out again, he found Cas wandering along the hallway looking slightly shell-shocked. Dean pulled him into a hug. 

'I'm really glad you're back.' 

Cas hesitated for a second, then returned the hug, burying his head in Dean's shoulder. 'Thank you.' 

'You're welcome.' Dean held Cas a little longer than he should have, but Cas didn't seem to notice. Finally, he pulled away, and Cas smiled at him. The shadow of their last conversation hung over them for a beat, but Dean decided not to address it just yet. Not while Cas looked so worn out and ragged. 'Come on, get in your room,' he said, clearing his throat. 'I know you don't sleep, but just do whatever makes you feel better.' 

Cas let out a long breath and disappeared back into his room. 

Dean didn't bother Cas again that day, and made himself walk past Cas's room on the way to his own. He could tell Cas was still in there, and the thought comforted him while he changed into his pajamas. He was just drifting off when his door opened. 

'Dean?' came Cas's voice, small and uncertain. 

'What's up?' Dean asked sleepily, turning over to look at Cas. He was standing hesitantly in the doorway. 

'I wondered if I might… stay in here tonight? I don't want to be alone anymore.' 

''Course you can,' Dean mumbled. 

Cas sighed and closed the door, and Dean watched him slump against the wall, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Dean shuffled over and patted the bed. 

'Come sit down at least, you're making it weird just standing there. There's room for both of us.' 

Cas nodded and took off his coat again, sitting awkwardly next to Dean. 

Dean ignored his increasingly loudly beating heart as the bed depressed beside him. 'You could always talk to Leo,' he said, trying to lighten Cas's mood. 

'I find he's not very good at conversation.' 

'I don't know, always made me feel better.' 

'I know.' 

'Right. You heard me talking to him.' 

'Every word.' 

Dean would have been embarrassed, but he'd already said too much since. And he was tired. 

'Go to sleep, Dean.' 

'Whatever you say,' Dean mumbled, his eyes already fluttering closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to Raphaelsgirl121 and oldmaker for the comments! See you again soon :)


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Dean woke up groggy and confused the next morning. His hand had somehow found its way over to Cas, and was clutching his shirt so tightly it had come untucked. 

'Sorry,' Dean mumbled, removing his hand and rubbing his head. 

'Don't be,' Cas said quietly. 

'How long was I asleep?' Dean asked, feeling far more rested than he was expecting. 

'Eight hours.' 

'Really?' Dean frowned. His nightmares should have woken him long before now. 

'I soothed your dreams. I hope you don't mind.' 

'Oh. No, I don't mind.' Dean sat up. 'You've still got your shoes on.' 

'Shouldn't I?' 

'Not in bed.' 

'I see.' 

Dean rolled himself out of bed and got himself washed up in the bathroom. His whole body was loose and relaxed, and he wasn't used to it at all. He knew Cas was the reason, but he held his tongue when he went back into his room. 

Cas was still sitting on the bed, staring into space, so Dean sat back down and put a hand on his shoulder. 

'How are you doing?' Dean asked softly. 

'I'm not sure,' Cas admitted. 'I feel very strange.' 

'Do you wanna talk about it?' 

'No.' 

Dean sighed. Maybe Cas didn't remember what he'd said at the bar. He'd been through a lot since, and Dean couldn't bring himself to say it again. 'Okay, well me and Sam have got work to do. You can hang out here if you want, or your room. Whatever.' 

'Thank you.' 

Cas didn't talk much or leave the bunker at all, and didn't answer any of their questions about what happened to him. He just wandered aimlessly around the bunker, picking up books or random artefacts, but nothing seemed to capture his attention. 

'We need to know what's going on,' Sam hissed to Dean after another day of silence from Cas passed. 

'I know, I know, but we can't rush him,' Dean hissed back. 'He'll tell us when he's ready.' 

Sam raised his eyebrows. 

'I'm working on it,' Dean added. 

He hadn't spent a night alone since Cas had returned. Even when Cas had disappeared into the depths of the bunker for hours on end, he always returned to sit by Dean's side while he slept. He always remembered to remove his shoes, and he always soothed Dean's dreams for him. Eventually, he became more and more comfortable on the bed, and even removed his jacket so he was just in his shirt and pants. 

Occasionally, Dean would have to leave on a hunt and find him unable to sleep in whatever motel he and Sam ended up in. He would come back to the bunker irritated and tired, ready to nap, and Cas was always there waiting. But they still didn't talk. Every time Dean readied himself to bring it up, he took one look at Cas, and the words died in his throat. They'd fallen into a comfortable routine together, and Dean was loathe to drag Cas out of his sense of safety. 

'This can't be healthy for him,' Sam worried. 'Are angels supposed to spend so long stuck underground?' 

Dean shrugged, but he couldn't help but question the same thing. So, that night, Dean waited for Cas to come into his room. 

'Oh, you're still dressed. I'll come back later.' 

'No, it's okay, come sit a sec.' 

Cas sat down warily. 

'Listen, me and Sam are getting worried about you. You haven't been outside for a really long time. It's not good for you.' 

Cas's brow furrowed, but he said nothing. 

'So… I was thinking we could go for a drive? Just us?' 

'I don't know, Dean…' 

'I won't let anything happen to you.' 

'I don't see any way you could possibly prevent it.' 

'Easy. I'm Dean Winchester,' Dean smiled, grabbing Cas's hand. 'I can do anything.' 

Cas stared down at Dean's hand on his, and, for a moment, looked as though he almost believed it. 'All right,' he whispered. 

'Okay. Okay, good. It's dark out. Let's go see the stars.' Dean led Cas back through the bunker and Cas took his hand again when they approached the door. Dean ran his thumb over the back of Cas's hand as he scratched away some of the warding. 'Come on.' 

There was the slightest hesitation as Dean opened the door, but as soon as Cas smelled fresh air he breathed deeply and stepped outside. The breeze ruffled his hair, and a faint smile curved his lips. 'You're right,' he murmured, 'I did need to come outside.' He climbed into the car and waited patiently for Dean to start it. 

They drove until they came to the wide open prairie, and Dean brought the car to a halt so they could get out. They walked across the grass in companionable silence, Dean sneaking sidelong glances at Cas every so often. 

Eventually, Cas stopped on top of a low hill and gazed up at the moon. 

Dean shifted uncomfortably, dying to open his mouth. 'Hey, you know your wings?' he blurted out. 

'Yes, I'm aware of them.' 

'Can you make them look like that whenever you want, or was it just the spell?' 

'I can do it.' 

Dean rubbed his neck. 'Can I see them?' 

Cas looked at him in surprise. 

'I'm sure they could do with a stretch after all that time in the bunker,' Dean said hopefully. 'There's no one around…' 

Cas chuckled. 'All right. Stand back.' He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The air around him shimmered and glowed, then the light came together and formed a set of powerful wings. 

Dean's eyes watered as he looked at them. They were glowing far more brightly than they had in the bunker. 'Wow,' he muttered in awe. 

Cas flapped them experimentally, almost knocking Dean over with the gust of wind that followed. 'That feels good,' Cas sighed. 

Dean wiped his face and couldn't stop himself from being drawn closer. He reached out a hand, but held himself back. 'Can I…?' 

Cas hesitated, but nodded. 

Dean ran his hand over Cas's feathers. They were soft and light, but their power thrummed beneath Dean's fingers. Light rippled out from where Dean touched it and Cas shuddered. 'That's - that feels - very strange.' He shuddered again. 'Dean, stop.' 

Dean pulled his hand away and Cas folded his wings up, shimmering and disappearing. Dean rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the spots in his vision. 'Sorry, I didn't mean-' 

'You didn't. Can we go back now?' 

'Yeah. Yeah, sure we can.' 

Cas stared anxiously out the windows the whole drive back, and Dean saw him visibly relax once the warding was back in place. 

'Hey, you did great,' Dean said to Cas. 

'Thank you.' 

'All right, well, I'm going to bed.'

Dean got himself changed and climbed under his covers. Cas didn't sidle into the room until Dean was almost asleep. But this time, instead of just sitting beside Dean, Cas slipped under the blankets and lay down. Dean's heart hammered in his chest. 

'What's up?' he murmured. 

'Nothing. I just thought I'd try it. You always seem comfortable.' 

'Yeah, well I don't wear a suit to bed,' Dean snorted, and he was soon sound asleep. 

Dean walked through the bunker stretching, and heard a scuffle from the kitchen. He ran in to find Cas brandishing his blade at Charlie. 

'Whoa, what's going on here?' Dean shouted, grabbing Cas's arm. 

'I don't know, I just wanted a pop tart,' Charlie said, holding up the box. 

'Cas, what's wrong?' 

Cas's jaw was clenched and his free fist balled at his side. His eyes glowed brightly and the bunker began to quake. 

'Cas, look at me,' Dean said, standing between Cas and Charlie. 'This is real. We're real. You touched my soul, remember?' He took Cas's free hand and put it on his chest. 'Calm down.' 

Cas blinked rapidly and dropped his blade. 'I- I-' 

'It's fine, right, Charlie?' 

'Yeah. Totally fine.' 

'Why don't you go and chill in your room? I'll be there in a minute.'

Cas nodded, a deep frown on his face, and left without a word. 

'Is he okay?' Charlie asked. 

'That's a good question. What about you? You okay, did he get you?' 

'No, I think I scared him more than he scared me. Wow. I scared an angel. How many people get to say that?' 

Dean laughed. 'I'm gonna go check on him. In the meantime, what did we say about just letting yourself in?' 

'I have to call first,' Charlie said sheepishly. 

'You got it. Eat your pop tart.' 

Dean left her in the kitchen and went to Cas's room. Cas was sitting on the end of the bed looking distressed. 

'Hey, what happened?' Dean asked gently, sitting next to him. 

'I was afraid.' 

'Of Charlie?' 

'I didn't recognise her, I wasn't expecting her, and for a moment I thought - I thought-' 

'I get it. But maybe next time you feel like that, you come find me instead of threatening our friends?' 

'That sounds reasonable,' Cas smiled. 

Dean patted his shoulder. 'Just stay here and chill for a while. Do you want a drink or anything?' 

'No thank you, Dean.' 

Dean smiled at him again and went to get his own breakfast. 

'No luck with him yet, I take it?' Charlie said as Dean sat at the table with a bowl of cereal. 

'Not yet, but I think we're getting somewhere. He went outside last night.' 

'That's great!' said Sam, relief clear on his face. 

Charlie leaned closer to Dean. 'Look, I don't mean to rush you, but we have to know what Cas knows. Something's circling the state, and it's probably Michael looking for you.' 

Dean spooned some cereal in his mouth. 'I appreciate the concern, but he can't get in here, so we got all the time in the world, understand?' 

Sam sighed, but Charlie smirked and said, 'Got it.' 

'What are you smiling at?' Dean said. 

'Nothing.' 

Dean rolled his eyes. 'You said you think Michael is circling? Did he do anything?' 

'No, but there have been a lot of power problems around Kansas lately. I can't think of anything else but archangels that could cause this.' 

Dean put his bowl down and addressed them both. 'I know you guys are getting antsy about this, but I need you to keep it calm in here. I promise you Michael can't get to us, and Cas is still kinda jumpy-' 

'Yeah, no kidding,' said Charlie. 

'-so we all just need to chill. Okay?' 

Sam and Charlie nodded. 

'Me and Sam are all about the chill vibes,' Charlie grinned. 

'Good. Keep it that way. Also, don't say "chill vibes" near me.' 

'Whatever you say, Dean.' 

Dean spent the rest of the day investigating the power disturbances around, searching for any kind of pattern that might help them, but coming up empty. He was frustrated by the time he threw himself to bed, but it all melted away when Cas came in. 

'Are you wearing my pajamas?' he grinned. 

'You said I shouldn't wear a suit to bed.' 

'You're right, I did say that.' 

Cas climbed into the bed. 'I heard you all talking earlier.' 

Dean switched off the light. 'Yeah. Are you worried about Michael?' Cas didn't answer, and Dean sighed. ''Night, Cas.' 

'Goodnight, Dean.' 

Sam convinced Charlie to hang around the bunker, unwilling to let her go unsupervised with Michael searching overhead. 

Dean woke up almost every morning with his limbs all over Cas, now that he was softer wearing pajamas. He tried not to be embarrassed, and it helped that Cas didn't seem to mind at all, he just lay staring at the ceiling night after night. Soon, though, Dean began waking up with Cas's hand in his, or Cas gently stroking his arm. Dean didn't question it, he didn't want Cas to stop. He didn't bring it up, and he avoided the conversation altogether, but now something about Cas's demeanour told him he was thinking about it. 

One night, Cas came into the room, but instead of climbing under the covers, he sat cross-legged at the end of the bed. 'Dean, can I ask you about something?' 

'Sure,' Dean said, sitting up. 

'I was curious… You said some things to me when I was… At the bar… Did you-?' 

Dean's heart leapt into his throat. 'I meant it,' he said firmly, clasping his hands together to stop them from shaking. He looked away as Cas's eyes roved over him. 'I wouldn't try to trick you like that.' 

'I know.' 

'Okay… good.' Dean nodded and swallowed, his mouth dry. 'Are you gonna lay down or what?' 

'Yes.' Cas shuffled in beside Dean and switched off the lights. 

Dean was swiftly drifting off, when Cas shifted beside him and draped an arm over him, pulling him closer, pressing against his back. Cas squeezed him tightly, and when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. 

'Sometimes I miss the Garden,' he murmured. 

'Eden?' 

Cas nodded. 'Things were so simple back then. Peaceful. Everything is so complicated now.' 

'I agree with you there,' Dean muttered, breathless from how close they were. 'Would you go back?' 

'It was beautiful there, but in its simplicity, I now find it to be profoundly empty. Angels are unfeeling. So was I. There we were in the centre of creation, unable to feel enough to appreciate it. But then it all changed when God created you.' 

'Humanity?' 

'Yes, but you. I mean you, Dean.'

Dean turned over to face him. His eyes glowed in the dark and he shivered. 

'You touched my wings.'

'Did it hurt? I'm sorry.' 

'No, it didn't hurt. No one has ever touched them like that.' 

'Cas, where are you going with this?' 

'I've been lost for a while now.' Cas squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. 'I felt so much when you…' 

Dean waited with bated breath to see what he would say next, but no more words came. Instead, he gasped as Cas kissed him. Cas held his head under the jaw, tilting his mouth up, and warmth spread through his body, tingling as it went. 

Cas was hesitant at first, gentle and uncertain, but as Dean's fist clutched at his shirt, his kiss grew deeper and more insistent. 

Dean was assaulted by a million different feelings at once. Adrenaline coursed through him, along with disbelief, pleasure, and an all consuming need for Cas to be closer, to feel him more. All of a sudden, Cas's hands on him, Cas's tongue in his mouth, was overwhelming, as though his body were filling with light. 

'Wait, wait,' he stammered, pushing Cas away slightly. 

'Am I - am I wrong?' Cas whispered. 

'No! No, I just-' Dean scrubbed his face. He'd yearned for this for so long, but he'd never imagined it would ever happen. 'Kissing an angel… it's a lot. Especially you.' 

Cas sat back and pulled Dean up with him. 'I wanted to tell you that I feel the same. I love you.' 

Dean's mouth dropped open. 'You do? But how?' 

'What do you mean?' 

'How does a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent fall for one insignificant human?' 

Cas chuckled and took Dean's hand. 'You were never insignificant, Dean. You're brighter and more alive than anyone I've ever known. Only you could have brought me back, as you have so many times before, and I'm glad you did. I'm glad I get to tell you that you're everything to me. Even if I am only a wavelength.'

'Only a wavelength?' 

'Is my vessel not a factor in your attraction to me?' Cas gave him a worried look. 

Dean smiled and squeezed his hand. 'I won't lie to you, your vessel is hot. But only when you're here. I spent some time with Leo, and I didn't feel anything like that for him. It's only you, Cas. You could be wearing anybody. It just has to be you.' 

Cas smiled widely, dazzling Dean with his joy. 'I'd like to kiss you again.' 

'You know, I was just thinking the same thing.' 

'But I don't want to… Not yet.' 

Dean nodded. 'Me neither. I think that would be too much for me.' He laughed nervously, and they sunk back down onto the bed together. 

Charlie was the first to see them the next day, catching them kissing in the kitchen. 

'I knew it!' She ran back out to the table, Cas and Dean following her. 

'Charlie, wait!' 

'I'm so happy for you guys!' she said, sitting down next to Sam. 

'What's going on?' Sam asked, putting down the book he was reading. 

'Guess who I just saw making out in the kitchen?' 

Sam stared at Dean. 'How many guesses do I get?' he joked. 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sat down. Cas joined him a moment later. 

Charlie clapped her hands together. 'I have so many questions.' 

Dean looked at Sam, who leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smirk on his face. There would be no more hiding, so he put a hand on Cas's knee for strength. 'All right, shoot,' he said, injecting as much confidence into his voice as he could. 

'When did you first kiss?' 

'Last night.' 

'Who initiated it?' 

Dean rolled his eyes. 

'I did,' Cas answered tentatively, putting his hand over Dean's. 

'I have a question,' said Sam. 'When did you know?' 

'Know what?' 

Sam raised his eyebrows. 

'Right, well…' Dean cleared his throat. 'When he-' He cut himself off and turned to face Cas. It would be easier telling him directly. 'When you went with Crowley. It hurt more than it should.' 

Cas looked down, still ashamed by everything that had happened. 

'But really, I'd say Purgatory was where I really knew.' 

'Yes!' Sam exclaimed, making them both jump. 'That'll be twenty dollars, thank you.' He held his hand out to Charlie, who groaned and pulled a bill out of her wallet. 

'You knew that?' Dean said irritably. 

'Oh, I was betting on it,' Sam laughed. 'Come on, man, you were like a grieving widow the whole time he was gone.' 

'That is so not true.' 

'What about you, Cas?' Charlie interrupted. 'When did you know?' 

Cas thought about it. 'When you stabbed me.' 

'You  _ stabbed  _ him?' said Charlie. 

'Which time?' 

'You stabbed him more than once?' 

'The first time.'

'The first time… You mean in the  _ barn?'  _ Dean said. 

'Yes. I'd already seen your soul in Hell. It shone so brightly that I thought it was impossible, that it was some kind of trick, but it was really you. I'd never seen anything like that before, it was incredible. And then to see you in person, so willing to fight, such a strong will to live that you would try and kill me without even an inkling of who or what I was. But then, I've always admired your courage.'

Dean gaped at him. 

'Ha!' Charlie exclaimed. 'I'll take that back.' She yanked the twenty back out of Sam's hand. 

'Are we done with the interrogation yet?' 

'Did you guys do it yet?' Charlie asked. 

'I'm not answering that,' Dean said, getting up. 'I'll be in the kitchen if anyone has any non stupid questions.' 

'I'll take that as a no then,' Charlie called as he stomped back to the kitchen. 

He leaned heavily against the counter. His knees were shaky, but he knew that they would have had questions eventually. Best to get them out quickly. 

'Are you all right?' Cas asked from the doorway. 

Dean looked up at him and smiled. 'Yeah,' he said truthfully. 'As long as you're here, I'm great.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! Thanks to oldmaker and DarkHeartInTheSky for the comments!  
> See you again next time!


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